#I've always liked the effect it caused but I never really did anything with it

[hxney-lemcn]

I Love You~ — NRC Students x gn! reader

summary: How Twisted Wonderland boys react to you saying "I love you."

tw: stalking (Rook), slight angst for some, mainly fluff.

a/n: this is the most I've written for for so many characters. I hope I did them well, I even wrote for characters I'm not confident in. Also, I swear they don't all just say I love you too back, Heartslabyul boys are just too sweet not not (for the most part).

wc: 4.5k (~200 each character)

Master List

Your feelings had been building up over time. It got to the point that it felt like all your feelings were bubbling over. It was only sooner or later that the depth of your love was going to spill. You only hoped that it wouldn’t scare him away.

❥ Riddle Rosehearts

It wasn’t the first time you said those damn words that sent his heart into cardiac arrest. ‘Love you,’ You would chime playfully as he seemed near to scolding you for something or another. He hated to admit how effective those words were on him, it didn’t help how you said it so casually. Yet this time was different, your tone being nothing but soft, your eyes nothing but warm…he wasn’t prepared for this. Avoiding your loving gaze, Riddle could feel his brain melt, his tongue felt like lead, and his heart was beating erratically. When your gaze turned worried, shying away the longer he stayed silent, he somehow gathered the courage to respond.

“I-I love you too.”

❥ Trey Clover

It was no secret how much you both cared for each other. You both seemed like a married couple to the other students. You never really needed to say anything out loud because your love was shown through actions, the way you both smiled at each other, and how the other was always on the mind. Yet hearing you say those words out loud shocked him. What shocked him even more was how much he longed to hear you say it again, and again, and again. It didn’t take long for him to regain his composure, smile brightening as he didn’t even hesitate to respond.

“I love you too~”

❥ Cater Diamond

He always hid behind a smile and a flash of his camera. People would say his care for you only ran skin deep, but you knew otherwise. You had managed to wiggle your way through Cater’s walls and that scared him, but it also brought a sense of relief. His compliments towards you were genuine, showing you just how much his fans loved you (an extension of his own love). He’d always say he loved you playfully, sending a wink your way making you nearly combust…and you’d respond in kind (unknowingly doing the same to him). So when you said those three simple words, your tired eyes fluttering shut as you snuggled into his blankets, he felt like he was going to puke. He felt like a complete coward that he could only reply back after you had fallen asleep, vowing to show you just how much he cared the next day.

“I love you more than you know.”

❥ Deuce Spades

We all know that Deuce isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, yet you found that endearing. The way he showed his care for you was so obvious it was hard to ignore. How he clearly favored you over Ace, sending threatening glares to any student who dares to look at you the wrong way. You had never felt safer than when you were with Deuce, so you’d try to reciprocate…yet he always seemed to outshine you in your made up care competition. Yet you quickly found his weakness after he shied away after you hugged him once. So when he did something so endearingly silly, it was only natural for those three words to slip…rip Deuce. He stammered, face blazing red as he tried to wrap around what you said, trying to untangle any hidden meanings. Bashfully, he couldn’t meet your eyes as he responded.

“I…love you too.”

❥ Ace Trappola

This menace. He flexes all the time, claiming how you must love him with the way you follow him like a puppy. Yeah…he makes it hard sometimes. So out of spite you’d go to Deuce, causing Ace to sulk. It was in those moments that you realized he was lowkey (highkey) projecting his feelings onto you. It helped you deal with his unabashed praise for himself. You found yourself teasing Ace back, poking him and irritating him (he did find it annoying but he’d rather your attention be on him then anyone else). He’d show off during his games, always looking towards you and making him a clumsy mess on the court. When you finally muttered how you felt (somewhat bitterly) Ace felt his brain shut down for a second before quickly rebooting, a shaky smirk on his face with bright red cheeks as he replied. 

“Of course you do! Who wouldn’t- OW! Okay, okay, I l-like you too I guess.”

(bro couldn’t even say love you back 💀)

❥ Leona Kingscholar

To anyone who didn’t know him, they’d think he was indifferent to you, if not annoyed by you. Yet to your and Ruggie’s keen eyes it was easy to see his affection for you crack through his impervious exterior. How he’d drag you with him for his constant naps, how he’d let you play with his hair, and how he’d glare at anyone who seemed to get a little too friendly with you. Leona didn’t like being vulnerable, after all, showing your belly meant submission and death. So when you said those three words he’d dreamt of you saying, how lovingly you were staring at him as you fiddled with one of his braids, he felt his scowl worsen at the fluttery feeling in his chest. His green eyes glanced away, his face softening back into a neutral expression.

“I better be the only one you say that to, herbivore.”

❥ Ruggie Bucchi

He’s another one that people can’t tell if he likes you or is using you. Whenever you were seen with him you were helping him with chores (in reality you only helped him so you both could relax together afterwards). It was clear how much you cared for him, bringing him snacks, helping him with chores, offering to pay for his meals (rip your already bare wallet). In return, he’d share with you. A feat that no one had ever seen him do before. Ruggie never felt guilty for taking/getting food…that was until you never seemed annoyed by how much he took from you. So he felt it was only fair if you had some too…you did pay for it after all. He found his tail wagging when you smiled at him, hugging him, or even when you ruffled his hair. So when you said that! Those words he never expected to be uttered from your lips, let alone aimed at him, his tail just couldn’t stop moving! No matter how composed he seemed, it was like his brain was on fire (insert that spongebob clip).

“Shishishi, I suppose I might feel the same…the price for that information is the other half of your donut. Shishi.”

❥ Jack Howl

This guy. Definition of tsundere. Acts like he wants nothing to do with you while sticking by your side for as long as he can. The nice thing is that he helps you become more healthy. He never forces you, but you feel more inclined to join him in his ‘morning’ jogs (his morning jog is way too early for you so it's technically his second jog of the day and he calls it his wind down jog). Everyone can tell how he feels for you, it's clear in the way his eyes are always searching for your comfort, how he steps in when someone gets too pushy, or when his tail sways when all your attention is on him. Another guy you feel super safe with. The two of you were studying when you said it, atmosphere warm. Jack’s ear twitched, unsure if he heard you correctly, eyes searching yours for confirmation. When you gave no indication that you were joking or being silly, it felt like his heart flipped.

“I…care about you…as well.”

❥ Azul Ashengrotto

He is sneakily unseaky about his feelings. One moment he’s treating you like an actual valued guest with no hidden intentions (😒) and the next he’s lowkey (highkey) flexing on you. Mixed signals because you aren’t sure if he’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself or if he’s trying to make himself look better to you. “Oh don’t worry, this won’t put a dent in my pockets,” He’d say with a smug smirk (you’re lowkey side-eyeing him). One time you poked him to see how’d he react and it was super amusing. Ran away with the brightest blush you’d ever seen claiming he had work to do…yeah…right. When you realized he is in fact trying to impress you (and realized it was really fun to tease him with affection), you became more comfortable around him, looking forward to the next time you could visit the Mostro Lounge. It got to the point that Jade would just bring you to the VIP room (if Azul wasn’t busy swindling a poor soul). When you spoke those words it came out of seemingly nowhere, Azul spilling ink all over a contract he just finished writing. He was so close to darting out of the room, face ablaze, hands trembling. Do you know just how powerful those words are? 

“P-perhaps…d-do you…I-I think…” (You broke him, don’t worry he just needs time to collect himself. He loves you too 💖)

❥ Jade Leech

Rip. It kinda takes a lot to catch his eye (do you even want that?). He found it amusing how kind you were, you wouldn’t make it for a second in the deep (k…). Yet what really caught his eye was that you were a green thumb. How you recognized one of his mushrooms and the gleam in your eyes as you stated all you knew about it (not much, but more than anyone else he’s met). Now you have a scary eel that pops up every now and then. Jade only cared about mushrooms, but now on his hikes he’d spot a plant you liked (every now and then bringing it back for you). Downside, you now had Floyd’s attention as well. I mean c’mon, his brother finding interest in someone? He just had to check the guppy out…thankfully Jade stopped him from squeezing you (a true testament of his care for you). The words spilled out of you when Jade had offered to…’help’...with a certain…’problem’ of yours (an annoying student who wouldn’t leave you alone). A look of pure shock washed over his face before it quickly turned into a cunning grin, something that sent the hairs on your arms to raise. 

“My my, what a bold statement. Please, treat me gently would you?~” (He did not forget about your ‘problem’)

❥ Floyd Leech

Rip #2. You know he cares (sometimes) when he stops calling you guppy (sometimes he does it just to annoy someone cough Riddle cough). Your case was a mix of both. One time when Floyd wouldn’t stop poking your cheeks you poked his nose with a ‘boop’, and he had deemed you boops. Also wouldn’t stop booping you back after that. He is not ashamed at all. He’d squeeze you, drape over you, pick you up, poke you, nearly kill you. The usual. You always would pretend to be annoyed (although sometimes that annoyance was very real) and Floyd always found your reactions hilarious. Although he had his bad moods, 6/10 times he’d feel better when you booped him. Jade would tease him, Azul would ask you over to the Mostro Lounge more often, even Riddle would avoid you (because where you were Floyd had to be nearby). When he was in a bad mood and you booped him while saying “I love you~”, Floyd froze. Sharp eyes watching your every move like the predator he is, a wide grin revealing his sharp teeth. 

“Awwww, I love ya too Boops! Now lemme squeeze ya!” 

❥ Kalim Al-Asim

Where do I even start? He’s loving on you the moment he sees you. Hugs, cheek kisses, hand holding, it's all normal to him. He cares about you so why wouldn’t he show you? Poor Jamil, he was really stressed at first, unsure what your intentions were. So to start, you had to prove yourself to Jamil, Kalim had accepted you the moment his eyes landed on you. The more you hung out, the clearer your affection for Kalim shined, and you two were basically a married couple at this point. It was easy to care for him, reciprocating his affection without hesitation. Idk there's not much to say about him, he’s just a loving and carefree guy. It was when you both were winding down, hanging out with just the other, doing some homework (one of the ways you proved yourself to Jamil). Your dreary eyes watched as Kalim swayed in place, his eyes soon meeting yours. His beaming smile had all your defenses down, words falling out without you realizing it. It wasn’t until Kalim jumped at you, squeezing you tightly, face nuzzling into your neck.

“I love you too! We should get married!”

(😅)

❥ Jamil Viper

It’s admirable that you managed to break down Jamil’s walls. He was even more surprised at how your attention would always seem to land on him instead of his insufferable prince. No matter how much Kalim basically begged for your attention, your eyes would always drift to Jamil, a warm smile on your lips when your eyes met. He showed his affection for you in how he looked after you. He had grown up taking care of someone, and although he found himself hating Kalim for his position, for Jamil’s spot in the world, he found himself enjoying caring for you. He loved how your eyes lit up when he offered you lunch, he had made too much anyways (riggggghhhht…), he felt his heart flip when you offered to help clean up or when you offered to help braid his hair. It was still hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that you truly cared for him and had no ulterior motives. His heart beat erratically when you said those words, when you looked only at him so lovingly, how your hand caressed his cheek so tenderly. It was all so overwhelming and he pulled away, pulling his hood up to hide his blush. His tongue felt heavy and he wasn’t sure if he had the heart to let himself be so vulnerable.

“Let’s continue this later…but rest assured I feel a similar way.”

❥ Vil Schoenheit

Ohhh boy. Vil, as much as I love him, might be a bit overbearing at first. If anything, you’d feel ashamed about yourself at first. You never seemed to be good enough as Vil would always find something to pick apart about you. You’d eat too many carbs, your uniform was wrinkly, your eyebags seemed to be more pronounced. When you snapped, crying and pleading for him to just stop, that you knew you weren’t beautiful or perfect like him and you didn’t want to hear it anymore, Vil had to rethink how he showed his care. He didn’t say those things because he thought you were ugly or terrible, he only wanted you to better yourself. To become more healthy and to take better care of yourself. Reflecting, he realized just how mean he seemed…enter the spoiling. Instead of nit picking you, he would give you stuff without a word. You found yourself with skin care products made by him (he didn’t want to taint your skin with bad ingredients), he would bring you a balanced lunch (perhaps breakfast and dinner too, if you’d be kind enough to join him), and he’d gift you outfits that complemented your figure perfectly (sometimes he’d have to get them costume made). It was a bit of a shock at the drastic change, but you found yourself doting on him more as well. You both were having dinner together, Vil complaining about his coworkers and you talking about whatever you were into at the moment. When he mentioned something he’d think you’d like you found yourself sweetly telling him you loved him. He was astounded, eyes locked on yours. As much as he tried to be composed, he couldn’t deny the fluttering of his heart or the heat on his cheeks. 

“I love you as well, my sweet potato.”

❥ Rook Hunt

This man 💀. At first you were terrified. Man was literally stalking you. You even went to the professors for help because excuse me? Stalking bad. And as much as Rook took amusement in your actions, he decided to finally get to know you…face to face (he already knew a ton about you). You gave him bombastic side eye when he first was trying to talk to you. He’d pop out of bushes (strangely no leaves stuck in his hair), he’d appear right behind you…one time he seemed to appear from literally nowhere. Against your own will, you warmed up to the freak. When he wasn’t continuously complimenting you, you found him to be funny. Rook is also unashamed about his love for you, he’d shout it from the roof tops if you asked. He also took the fact that you were warm to him as a sign of affection. You didn’t nearly deck him for popping out of the bushes this time? Oh mon chéri, his heart melts that you felt his presence to be so comforting. It felt weird, Rook had complimented you many times, spouting about how much his heart yearns for you. You almost didn’t want to tell him that you loved him, a bit spiteful since you knew how smug he’d look afterwards (you’d never live it down either). Yet when Rook handed you a rose, spieling about how it could never compare to you, you found yourself crumbling. Instead of that smug look you expected, he looked genuinely happy. Green eyes bright and shining, smile so wide you thought it split. Yet that gleam soon looked like that of a predator who finally caught his prey. 

“Mon chéri, my heart weeps with joy, I cannot imagine a world without your brilliance shining. Avoir son cœur est la plus grande récompense.”

❥ Epel Felmier

Epel is a tough nut even if he looks cute. He’d tease you mercilessly (Ace moment) on some days, while most he found himself complaining to you. Vil would work him tirelessly, and he can handle tough work! You’d sneak him candy or some jerky (that was more manly than candy). He found himself always trying to impress you, whether it be carrying something heavy or showing you his grades (he improved from last time okay). He loved how you complimented his strength or his intelligence, but deep down he was scared you saw him as a cute prim boy that Vil was trying to turn him into. If anyone tried anything with you he’s the one you’d go to, making his chest puff in confidence. Of course he’s trying to not fight so Vil won’t punish him, but a stern talking too wasn’t out of the picture. You both were relaxing under a tree. You mindlessly watched Epel as he carved an apple, handing you pieces when they were cut perfectly. Another one who can’t handle it when you say it. Eyes wide, shoulders hunched, face matching the apple he was holding. 

“Ya c-can’t jus’ s-say that! Y-you tryna k-kill me? ‘Tch, you’re lucky I like ya too.”

❥ Idia Shroud

He’s such a simp. Some days he can barely squeak out a word to you, hiding himself in the comfort of his hoodie, others he’s flexing on you about just how much more he knows about a game than you. When he’s feeling extra generous (trying to get y’alls intimacy meter up to max) he’ll buy you the fancy currency in your favorite gacha game, go on, do as many ten pulls as it takes to get your favorite character up to max level. His favorite moments are when you both are watching an anime together, in the same bed…it makes his heart explode just thinking about it (dudes on the opposite side of the bed 💀). What makes him care for you even more is how you interact with Ortho. You two are his favorite people and seeing how well you both get along just further warms his heart. When you muttered those words to him, he literally screamed. Hoodie up, hiding under his blankets, his hair the brightest pink it’s ever been. He felt light headed and he was sure if he opened his eyes his vision would be spotty.

“G-gah! Your charm is maxed out! It’s n-not fair that you had the special dialogue to insta kill me.”

❥ Ortho Shroud (platonic only obvs)

He is just a little ray of sunshine. He’s the reason why you got so close to Idia in the first place. He’s always on the hunt for any potential friends for him and his brother. You were always sweet to him, doting on him and calling him cute. Ortho honestly thought of you as another sibling (might as well be with how much you hype him up). Ortho would always try to accompany you if he had time, always ‘hinting’ at you to visit his brother (bro is not hinting, straight up just asking). He felt his cpu warm as he processed his happy feelings at watching you and his brother get along, as well as when you always brought Ortho over to join you both. It didn’t take long for you to tell Ortho you loved him, I mean he was just so adorable!

“I’m so happy! I love you too!”

❥ Malleus Draconia

I hope you're ready to become a royal beside him. He shows he cares with grand gestures (which Lila helps make them smaller gestures). Malleus is used to people fearing him, and the fact that you didn’t? Man was gobsmacked. He shared his interests with you, and you shared yours with him. He would research anything you said that he didn’t understand (it was even better if you were the one teaching him). If you thought your affection was spilling over, Malleus’ was flooding. It turned into him giving you fine jewelry, clothing, flowers, food, you want it, it's yours. He cared for you greatly, and he was unsure how else to show his affection. You gave him a hug? He’d hug you now as a greeting. One time you booped his nose and he went cross eyed following your finger. You’d almost spilled your guts then (I’m surprised you didn’t cus that shit’s adorable). You always confused him with your cute forms of affection, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. It seemed impossible for you to keep in your love any longer on a bright, moonlit night. As you stared into the night sky, you spilled those three little words that unknowingly sealed your fate. Malleus felt his heart be set aflame, eyes taking you in. It was then that he finally thought of a perfect ring for you. 

“I love you as well, child of man. More than you could ever imagine.”

❥ Lilia Vanrouge

As silly and carefree as he was, Lilia wasn’t ready to love again. He had his family, and that was all he cared for. So when he found himself messing with you more, missing when you weren’t around, wanting to cook for you (rip #3), he felt scared. Love never went well for him, it was almost like he was cursed, and those he cared for were ripped away from him. Yet you were so sweet, trying his food and trying to give him pointers on how he could improve. The cute scared face you made when he popped out of nowhere. Gosh you made it so easy to love, it was honestly unfair. He was supposed to be the cute one! You can’t go stealing his title! You also found it a struggle to love Lilia. You knew he was older than time itself (💀), and honestly you felt a bit weird for falling for him. I mean, you were so much younger, and he was a fae. It just seemed like a lot, so you kept your feelings to yourself. That was until one night, Lilia was tucking you in since you fell asleep on him, and you muttered those cursed words as you drifted off. He actually avoided you for a few weeks after that, and you felt embarrassed that you slipped. It wasn’t until he could no longer avoid you, missing you too much and having thought it through enough.

“I hope you understand the weight of your words, after all, us fae stay with our partner for life.”

❥ Silver Vanrouge

He is so easy to get along with. He’s always looking out for you, offering you snacks when you're hungry and handing you water when you haven’t drank any yet. While he does find himself dozing off a lot, he appreciates when you try to poke him awake or go over the material he slept through. No one even questions your status, they just assume you're together with how lovey dovey you both act. He’s fallen asleep on your shoulder more times than he can count, his soft hair tickling your neck. He’d apologize when waking up, but you were too entranced by not only his beauty but the cute animals that now surrounded you both. Not to mention the way your heart would pitter patter as he would promise to defend you, his shining eyes showing complete seriousness. You had whispered your love for him when he was sleeping, gently playing with his hair. You thought he wouldn’t hear, but boy were you wrong. His soft eyes blinked open sleepily, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Am I dreaming? I hope I’m not, because I love you too.”

❥ Sebek Zigvolt

Another tsundere ass. He gets overwhelmed by his feelings for you so often I’m surprised your eardrums aren’t permanently damaged from his constant yelling. It was confusing for him because the only other person he felt a somewhat similar feeling towards was Malleus Draconia, and you were nowhere near the level of the future king of Briar Valley. He’d take his strange feelings out on you, inadvertently pushing you away. Thank the sevens for Lilia (or not) because the bat fae would always have something to say about Sebek when he’d see you. “Have you heard of how brave Sebek was?” “Have you seen how cute he is when his face turns red?” Thankfully, Sebek got used to the pitter patter he felt when you smiled at him, no longer scolding you for…smiling? Another one that you learn tends to project. He’s degrading you for being human? Well he’s half human too, so he probably feels the same about himself more than you. Which causes you to try and compliment him more…which leads to him shouting, cycle repeats. I hope you brought ear plugs, cus the moment you spilled your guts, the soft atmosphere turned harsh. His face lit up red as his shoulders rose to his ears, be prepared for a flustered, shouting croc.

“C-cease your tempting words human! I-I only have eyes for Waka-sama! I have no time for foolish endeavors that will ruin my position! W-wait, don’t l-leave! I n-never said I didn’t f-feel the s-same!”

[cy-cyborg]

The Jaws Effect and what it means for media representation

The Jaws Effect is the name of a phenomenon that described the panic and fear that sprang up around sharks, fuelled by Steven Spielberg's movie, Jaws. While the fear of sharks and other marine predators had always been a thing, Jaws launched the fear of sharks, and Great White Sharks in particular, to new (and mostly unfounded) heights. Most people will never encounter a real-life shark and so their only knowledge about the creatures come from movies and other forms of entertainment. Entertainment that largely portrayed them as mindless, unfeeling killing machines. After Jaws, sharks became a staple in the creature-feature genre of movies, which only perpetuated the idea of sharks as dangerous monsters even further, reigniting and reconfirming the beliefs the public held about them in the process. These ideas about sharks are, of course, not true, but the misconception and fear has had a real, observable impacts on shark populations, shark conservation efforts and even laws and legislations surrounding sharks and shark conservation around the world.

Ok but Cy, this is a blog about disability and disabled representation, what do sharks have to do with anything you talk about? Well, Because The Jaws Effect is just one of many examples that shows how massive of an impact representation in the media can have, for better or for worse, especially when talking about subjects the public generally knows very little about.

This conversation is not unique to disability representation, nearly every person I've seen who's talked about how to write and design characters from any minority brings it up eventually, but the media we consume, the movies we watch, the books we read can all have big impacts on people's perceptions on those topics. When talking about disability specifically, it's an unfortunate reality that not many people know all that much about us, and so, much like sharks, for many, their only real exposure to disabled people is through the media they consume.

If you don't know anyone in a wheelchair, and your only knowledge of life as a wheelchair user comes from books and movies like Me Before You, of course you're going to (spoiler) come away thinking that life in a wheelchair is horrible and death is better than living like that. If you don't know any DID Systems and your only exposure to a condition like that is through movies like Split (and honestly, a number of other horror movies and crime shows) of course you'll think people with DID are unstable monsters who could become violent any moment. If your only exposure to autistic people is Music, then it's not shocking that you might think Autistic people are "trapped in their own minds," completely unaware of the world around them and lacking any kind of agency. As much as I'd like to be able to say these are "just movies" or "just books," and that if we don't like them, we can just not watch them, they all had an impact on the real world and real people's perceptions of the disabilities they depicted, as do the many, many smaller examples of bad representation.

This is why I personally spend so much time focused on the portrayal of disability in the media, why so much of my content is focused on creating resources for creators to represent us better, and why I think writers, artists and other types of creators should care about the representation they include.

Unfortunately, people believing misinformation and stereotypes, while annoying, isn't the worst of the impacts bad rep can have. If a stereotype is prevalent enough, and enough people believe it, it can both put us in harms way and cause us to loose access to things we desperately need and things designed to help us. One really common example of this is when movies and TV shows show a character getting up out of their wheelchair, and use this as proof that the person is faking being disabled. However, in reality, there are many disabilities that might mean someone has to use a wheelchair, even if they can still walk a little bit or stand up. The stereotype of someone standing up from their chair being a fake, especially when it's reinforced over and over again in the media, leads non-disabled people to believe that anyone who stands up from their wheelchair is faking, and results in a lot of real disabled people being harassed and denied things like access to disabled parking, toilets and other accessible spaces. There were even a few cases of people reporting those they see get out of their wheelchairs to Centrelink (The Australian "welfare" department, for those not familiar) as frauds, and while these investigations don't usually go far before someone realises what's happened, it has, on occasion, resulted in people loosing the income they depend on to survive, even temporarily.

But the impact of representation, of course, can go both ways.

I was in high school when the first How To Train Your Dragon movie came out, and at the time, I didn't really like people being able to see that I was a leg amputee because I was sick of kids in particular staring, pointing at me, asking their parents "what's wrong with them?" or asking me directly, "what's wrong with your legs?". I wore long skirts and big, bulky tracksuit pants to keep my legs covered, something that became dangerous in the hot Australian summer, but I didn't care.

But the impact of How to Train Your Dragon came in two ways. The first, was that it was one of the first times I'd seen an amputee (or rather, multiple amputees) who didn't keep their prosthetics covered or hidden, and it gave me the little boost in confidence I needed to do that myself and wear clothing that was more comfortable and functional. And second, the comments from children changed, albeit slightly, but enough that it was noticeable. The questions and comments went from "what's wrong with you?" to "oh cool, your legs are like Hiccup's!" I even had one little girl ask me once if I had a pet night fury. They went from being scared of me and my legs, or at the very least concerned for me, to genuinely curious and impressed. While reactions like that did become less and less common over time, they didn't fully go away either. Even today, I occasionally get young kids asking me why I have legs like hiccup. A friend of mine who was born with one arm shorter than the other and without fingers on that side had a similar experience with the movie Finding Nemo. Her disability was a bit more complex than what I described here, and she always found it hard to explain "what happened" to small children, however, after Finding Nemo came out, she was able to simply tell kids "this is my lucky fin, like what nemo has!" and that was enough to take her from someone "scary" to these kids to someone like their favourite characters.

Of course, it's much easier to see the impact positive representation can have on people's perceptions when we're talking about kids media, but it's not exclusive to it either.

When it comes to a minority like the disabled community who are so thoroughly misunderstood by the wider public, misinformation can and does spread easily. What people see and read in the media they consume plays a big roll in how people perceive the real people attached to the stereotypes. We often hear people say "Fiction imitates life" but the reverse can and often is also true, life can imitate and be influenced by fiction, and those of us creating should be mindful of this, especially when we're talking about a group of vulnerable people.

[Thumbnail ID: An illustration of a Great White Shark swimming near the rocky bottom of the ocean, surrounded by silver fish. In the bottom left corner of the image is "The Jaws Effect and what it means for media representation" in big, white bubble text. /End ID]

[olivianyx]

OMGG I JUST GOT RESULTS WITHOUT BEATING MYSELF UP WITH ROUTINES 😭 + RANT ✨

HEYY LUVS! I JUST WANNA SHARE MY RESULTS I MANIFESTED WITHIN 2-3 DAYS! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE MY BEST YEAR Y'ALL ✋AND GUESS WHAT I DID? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. NUH-UH. PERIODT.

⚠ LONG POST AHEAD, SWEARING ⚠

WHAT I MANIFESTED:

🪄 PASSING MY FRESHMAN YEAR WITH HIGH SCORES

🪄 MY FAMILY BOUGHT A NEW APARTMENT WHICH WERE PREPARING TO MOVE IN 3 WEEKS

🪄 ME GETTING INTO THE VOID STATE 😭 AND MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN! (DAYUM GETTING INTO THE VOID IS DEFO VERY EASY OMGG)

🪄 GETTING LESS ANXIOUS LATELY!

🪄 MY GASTRITIS AND ULCERITIS GETTING CURED

🪄 GETTING MORE COMPLIMENTS IN MY UNI!

🪄 GETTING TALLER! I WENT FROM 5'3" TO 5'7" IN 2 DAYS 😭😭

🪄 GETTING DREAMS OF ME SHIFTING TO MY WR 🥺 (ACTUALLY RESPAWNING LOL, AS THIS THING IS REALLY CONTROVERSIAL IN HERE, PLEASE DON'T GET ME CANCELLED- I'M DOING DEATHLESS RESPAWNING ✋)

🪄 MY MIND IS SURPRISINGLY CALM 😌 THERE'S STILL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THO (THOSE ARE ANNOYING ASS BITCHES) BUT I JUST IGNORE EM LIKE I IGNORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL 🗿

🪄 GOT MANY CONFESSIONS TOO 😭 AND I REJECTED EM ALL, CUS I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ✋🗿 JK

🪄 GETTING COOL CLOTHES THAT MY MOM DENIED A LOTTA TIMES! (ACTUALLY I'VE ORDERED EM BUT STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED TO MY ADDRESS YET LOL)

🪄 MY CRUSH BECOMING CLOSE TO ME HEHE 🤭 LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME MUCH, BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN TOO CLOSE TO ME AND ALWAYS WANNA BE WITH ME LOL, 3 DAYS BACK SHE AND I WALKED HOME TOGETHER, WHILE WE GRABBED SOME SNACKS, SPOKE ABT EACH OTHER AND ALL (I FELT LIKE BEING IN A SHOUJO MANGA 😩)

🪄 A NEW PHONE! THAT SAMSUNG GALAXY S22 😩

I MANIFESTED EVERYTHING WITHIN 3 DAYS 😭 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, JUST. 3. FUCKING. DAYS. GODDAMMIT.

HOW I DID IT:

JUST FULFILLED IT IN MY IMAGINATION

YEP, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. I LIVED IN THE 4D REALITY, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3D AT ALL. OK LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR Y'ALL SO JUST PAY ATTENTION FROM HERE ONWARDS.

🪄 SUPPOSE SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE OR UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR 3D. WHO'S THE CAUSE FOR THAT? YOU. 'BUT I DIDN'T IMAGINE OR THINK OF THESE 😭' BABY, YOU'RE THE SOLE CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE SOLUTION. THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO THIS.

🪄 AS WE ALL KNOW, 3D IS A MIRROR. RIGHT? WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PERSPECTIVE EVERYTHING WILL BE REFLECTED. SO WHY NOT THINK THE WAY YOU WANT SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME? GET IT.

🪄 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE 3D, CHANGE YOUR 4D FIRST. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO HOW YOUR DESIRED SELF WOULD SEE THE WORLD. KEEP DWELLING IN IT. IF THE 3D SHOWS UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, DON'T FUCKING GET TRIGGERED. GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION AND DENY YOUR SENSES.

🪄 EVERYTIME YOU SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN THE 3D, GO 'BRUHH THIS IS MY OLD STORY, I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT, THIS IS JUST FAKE' AND MOVE ON. DISTRACT YOURSELF. CUS THE 3D WORLD WHICH YOU SEE IS AN ILLUSION, IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S YOUR CREATION, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CREATED? IT'S ALREADY IN CONTROL. YOU ONLY GOTTA REALISE YOUR GODSELF. YOU ARE THE CREATOR, NOT THE CREATION. STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING YOURSELF.

🪄 I GET IT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED BETWEEN LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND NON DUALISM. EVEN I WAS, BUT SLOWLY I REALISED THAT WE'RE ALL NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. VICTIMIZING OURSELVES IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. IRONIC RIGHT?

🪄 THOSE THOUGHTS, ANXIETY, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN YOUR PHYSICAL REALM. YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY, YOUR EGO EVERYTHING IS NO REAL, WE ASSUME IT TO BE. WE'RE ARE SHAPELESS, FORMLESS, WE'RE NOTHING! AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME. CUS EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ONE THING, I AM.

🪄 K Y'ALL MIGHT BE SUPER CONFUSED, WHAT I'M TRYNA INFUSE IN YOUR BRAINS. SO WHAT YOU DO IS, LIVE IN YOUR 4D.HOW? IMAGINATION. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR 3D, GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION, AFFIRM OR VISUALISE. ANYTHING IS FINE BTW. JUST STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED.

🪄 STOP RELYING ON METHODS, FUCK THEM. JUST BE. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. JUST STOP, SURRENDER, STOP FIGHTING, STOP TRYING SO HARD WHEN YOUR ALREADY IT. SO GO LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION, FULLY SURRENDER. DO THINGS WHICH YOU LIKE. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.

LIKE AREN'T YOU TIRED? TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN CREATIONS? YOU CREATED THEM, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WHATEVER. TELL ME HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LIVE THIS BULLSHIT LIFE? YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. SO LISTEN UP, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, OR DAYDREAM, ZONE OUT, WHATEVER. ALL I DID WAS DO THIS MEDITATION IN THE MORNING, WENT ABOUT MY DAY WATCHING JUJUTSU KAISEN LMAO. THEN RANDOMLY AFFIRM, LIVED IN MY 4D, NEVER PAYED ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO MY 3D, CUS I'M GOD. I REALLY LOVE VISUALISING, SO I PUT ON A SONG AND START DAYDREAMING IN MY ROOM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT. ALSO, I DID SATS BEFORE GOING TO BED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DID FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS, AND GOT WHAT EVER I WANT. ALSO I MADE A CUSTOM TAPE TOO (IT'S A GENERAL SELF CONCEPT ONE) I LISTENED TO IT FOR 30 MINS AND JUST WENT ABOUT MY DAY THINKING I HAD WHATEVER I FUCKING DESIRE, CUS IT'S ALL MY CREATIONS AND I HAVE IT ALREADY. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET, IT'S ALREADY IN ME.

LUV YOU, BYE 💋

[ashherahh]

their thoughts about you

Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.

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This reading is channelled in first person because ya know, it's their thoughts hehe ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖ᯓᡣ𐭩˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

pile 1

You opened up my world and challenged everything I had once thought was true. I should hate you but how could I hate someone who saved me from myself?

I spent my life believing in things that were so...wrong. How were you able to see more to me? I couldn't see more to myself, I couldn't see how twisted everything was. So far removed from the reality of things, so twisted up in vines of falsities. How were you able to see me?

I'm so grateful each and every day that you were annoyed enough with me to challenge me, to debate with me, to change me with each word you spoke. You planted seeds in me and now I blossom as an open field of flowers. A ridiculous analogy but that's how I feel. I feel free to have thoughts of my own, to feel my emotions instead of being drowned by them.

I am accepted by you. I have been renewed through your passions and your convictions. You desire to always see more in others. I would... I would like to be with you. To be someone you would be proud to stand next to, as equals.

Part of me feels like you will always be the one having to help me better. If I were to be with you, what would I add to your life? What could I offer you when you have done so much for me?

I do not for a second believe that you don't need as others do. You are flesh and blood like me. I want to know you. Your desires, your fears, your hopes and dreams. I want to listen to you.

I feel deeply for you, but if I've learnt anything from you is that I can't think only of myself. I am not an island and I shouldn't project my desires onto you. At times, you feel so far away. A shooting star and I am desperate to catch a glimpse of you.

pile 2

Do you remember me? Do you think of me? Do you remember our words whispered in the dark?

It's been so long since I've held your hand, since you smiled your secret smile at me. We used to share so much before I become an arse.

I wonder what you're doing right now. I wonder who you're with. I wonder if my words haunt you as they haunt me, ringing throughout my chest and in my mind as I sleep. I hurt you, someone so important to me. I would blame it on my youth, say that I was emotional and temperamental and I didn't mean it but it would feel like an insult to say that. To simply disregard the effects of my actions by blaming it on my youth.

You are so careful with your words, so careful with how you speak. It took me a long time to mean what I say like you do. I live with regret.

Instead of cherishing you, I was so careless with my words and my actions. I was an idiot to always see you as my constant companion, who would handle anything I dish out. We've known each other for years, but never once did it cross my mind that you might outgrow me. Never once did it cross my mind that I could become someone you would never want to see again.

If I got another chance with you, I want to make you happy. You had done nothing to deserve the past pain I had caused. Another part of me feels like I deserve to be without you and that you deserve someone else. Someone who will be able to cherish you in all phases of their life.

We might never be together again but you are my first love, and I'll carry you with me wherever I go.

pile 3

I have made my decision and I will come to you. I'm no longer confused or trying to figure myself out. Which wasn't really figuring myself out but actually, I was running away from my feelings.

I didn't know what to do with how I felt about you. It was so much, where was I supposed to put it? I never believed in stuff like that, in grand romances. I never thought that I would ever feel that way about anyone, I didn't recognise it at first. I didn't know what it was. It was just a lot.

To see you and feel that much, and so intensely, and having never conceived of something like that? I ran. I ran to a different city. I ran to a different country. I ran to a different person. I know I left you.

It was strange to me, how you understood what this was and I didn't. How you could feel my presence, read my moods. I was an open book to you from day one. Baby, I barely knew you and you knew so much about me. Frankly, it was fucking scary.

I'm not someone who puts their feelings into words but you made me contemplate and shit. This was new and scary.

I'm not a fearful person but I fear not having you in my life now. I don't just want you because I recognise what I've been feeling now, but now I know what you will be to me. I won't run away again.

We'll feel this, together. I'll stick with you. I want you to be mine. I sound like such a selfish, lukewarm bitch but I want you to be mine. I know you want that too.

I know that you feel this connection, and I will do everything I can do protect your feelings. Even if I have to do it from a distance. But I will never stop wanting you.

[thebibliosphere]

Hey! I know that this isn't something you struggle with but since a lot of your other followers are disabled as well, it would mean a lot to me if you could publish this ask since I'd like to see if anyone else experiences anything similar to what I'm going through. I'm not asking for anyone to armchair diagnose me, I'd just appreciate not feeling so alone and scared and confused. My general physician is claiming that my anxiety is causing the issues I'll describe but I call bullshit on that:

About two years ago, cca 4 months after my top surgery, my body stopped being able to process oil. Whenever I'd eat anything that was made with oil of any kind, I'd get cramps in the abdomen after a while and I'd get diarrhea. Caffeine started to do this also but in a smaller intensity. I had a hysterectomy a bit after that and they checked my kidneys and liver so I know that those are both ok and not the cause. I also got checked for Celiac since it runs in the family. Because the issue wasn't getting worse and my then general physician was always dismissive, I let it be. When I wasn't having diarrhea, I was constipated, though I did have a bowel movement like once or twice a week. Fast forward to now. In August, it suddenly got a lot worse. At first, even a single drop of oil would make me feel ill. Then, the time period got longer - currently the cramps and the pain last for 48 hours afterwards. I also became unable to digest animal fats, the only meat I can eat is lean chicken and fish. Afterwards, gluten became an issue (Celiac is still negative), and then nuts as well.

My new GP, even though she believes it to be anxiety, gave me Itopride, and it worked for about 3 weeks - I had no cramps, pain, exhaustion, gas or bloating after eating, and I had a bowel movement once a day. But it stopped working two days ago, again without a reason, and the effects started being less effective about a week ago. Even when taking the meds, I have a movement only once in about 8 days, and laxatives make me gassy but nothing happens. I'm also not sure about this, but it seems that chicken is no longer safe either.

I think it's important that if I don't take Itopride, I never even feel the urge to go, so when I say that I've always been constipated, I mean that I don't even feel the need to have a movement. Lately, when I take Itopride, I do get the urge that I do always get when taking it, but it's like I can't go, so I always feel full.

I just feel super scared and I have no idea what's going on. I admit that I have a history of eating disorders (in recovery since May) and I did abuse laxatives about a year ago, but I don't think it was enough to cause such serious issues? I used to take them like once a week and for about 3-4 months.

I'd really appreciate knowing if anyone has ever experienced anything similar or knows about anything like this because I feel like my life is in shambles - can't go outside for long because I might need the toilet suddenly, or I'm in too much pain to walk, I'm afraid to eat, I often feel repulsive, I don't know what might happen in a month, I am becoming incapable of taking care of myself and my flat because I'm just so goddamn tired.

Ooft, I’m sorry. It sounds like you’ll need a colonoscopy to figure this one out, so if you haven’t had one yet, really push for a referral.

Fwiw, I do experience something like this, but it’s from mast cell inflammation in my GI tract. The doc prescribed me bentyl for when things flare up but I’m also on a fiber supplement (citrucel. It’s a lot gentler than other types) to try and keep that from happening. Also if you’re low on b vitamins, your stomach sometimes stops digesting food, so maybe also ask about getting your levels checked. Taking an additional b2 supplement means I can process fats and oils again which I couldn’t before.

I’m not saying this to be like “this is what you have” just throwing them out there as suggestions that might help you piece together what might be wrong.

I hope you get more helpful comments in the notes 💖

[vivalas-vega]

late / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

hiii - feels like a long time since I've actually posted anything. this fic idea came to me kind of randomly - I've been seeing a lot of fics lately centered around making/having babies and I thought it'd be nice to write something angsty and fluffy catered to those of us who are childless and want to remain that way lol - as always, lmk what you think!

late / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

word count: 3.5k

I do not have a taglist - if you'd like to be notified of future works please follow @vegaslibrary and turn on post notifications

warnings: mentions of periods, hints at termination (not said explicitly but it's there), talk of kids/pregnancy, angst and fluff !!

You shut the dishwasher before continuing to move about the kitchen as you cleaned up from dinner, one you would say was one of your best if you were going to toot your own horn, and your sights were set on the freezer for a little ice cream to go along with your movie before bed. You thought you should hold out, you’d left an invite open to your boyfriend to come here after his plans, but you decided against it. Ben and Jerry’s waits for no one.

You set it out to soften for a minute, pulling your planner from your bag to skim through your plans for the next day to make sure all your ducks were in a row and you were about to close it when you fixated on the date. “There’s no way,” you muttered to yourself, genuinely baffled by how far into the month you were. Your brow furrowed as you tried to comb through your memory but things had been so busy lately you were falling short so you switched to your phone and tapped on the pink app icon, eyes widening as you realized your first thought was true.

“No, no, no,” you sighed, walking to the bathroom with a quicker pace than normal and dropping down to look beneath your sink. “Don’t be expired,” you pleaded. To whom you were pleading you had no idea, but you breathed out a sigh of relief when the tiny text on the box confirmed you still had a while to use them. 

You checked the app again, scrolling back through the month and confirming what you’d hoped you’d misinterpreted the first time… but you hadn’t, you were in fact late. Ten days late. You had always considered yourself quite lucky, your period ran like a well oiled machine and your cycle was always twenty-nine days on the dot. Every so often you’d fluctuate, but only by a day, and for that you were grateful. You were always prepared, and you always knew if you ever fluctuated by more than a day it was cause for concern…

Ten days was more than cause for concern in your book, frankly as you stared at the test you thought you didn’t even really need to take it. You only kept them on hand because you were known for missing a pill here and there and you’d rather have to run to your bathroom in a panic than to your closest mini-mart, but you’d never truly had a scare before. You always assumed they’d expire before you got to use them. Oh, how wrong you were. 

Pregnancy was never on the docket for you. You knew from a young age you had no interest and frankly it scared you more than anything. You knew it was reckless not to switch to a more effective birth control, one that was foolproof and long-lasting but the pill you’d been on since high school hadn’t failed you yet so you’d put it off despite the fact that it had been on your to-do list. Right about now you were wishing you’d just booked the appointment and gotten it over with. 

You did the only thing you really knew to do at this moment and fired off a text to Natasha, your best friend for almost two decades. All it read was three simple numbers: 911. 

You heaved a sigh as you ran your fingers through your hair and chastised yourself for being so flippant. You knew you didn’t want this, and you knew the pill wasn’t perfect, especially not when you missed at least one per pack. Really, you’d just gotten lucky your whole adult life, and the fact that this hadn’t happened sooner was beginning to feel like a miracle as you really let the situation wash over you. You were broken from your thoughts by the sound of your phone vibrating harshly against the tile and you answered it before it even got through its first ring.

“What’s going on?” Natasha asked in lieu of a hello. This was one of the many reasons you loved her and why she was still your best friend after all this time. Unless she was in the air or on the other side of the world, a 911 text was responded to in the form of a call in five minutes or less. You also decided to forgo a greeting and simply held up the box and her eyes widened, “no, are you serious?” 

“Unfortunately,” you sighed and she considered her next question carefully.

“Have you taken one yet?” You shook your head. “Okay, so it’s just a suspicion, maybe there’s not even anything to worry about.” 

“Ten days, Nat,” you replied.

“Oh shit,” was all she said for a moment. “Hey, you’ve been eerily regular your entire life, maybe your uterus taking a hard earned break,” she tried and you chuckled at the attempt to lighten the situation with humor. 

“Or maybe it’s growing a person,” you said and she rolled her eyes.

“You haven’t even taken it, you can’t get all doom and gloom yet. Have you talked to Jake?” 

“Should I?” you shot back and she just gave you a deadpan look through the screen.

“Should you talk to your boyfriend, the one who may or may not have impregnated you, about the fact that he may or may not have impregnated you?” she asked rhetorically. 

“I just… it’s not like it’s going to go anywhere if it’s positive,” you sighed. “We haven’t talked about it, Nat. He doesn’t know how I feel and I have a feeling it’s going to ruin everything.” 

“How could you know that if you haven’t talked about it?” she replied with that face that told you she knew she was right, because she always was, not that you’d tell her that. “If this was some random hookup I’d say absolutely don’t talk to them about it, but this is Jake… you guys are getting serious and I think you’ll feel better if you do.” 

“That’s the thing, we’re getting serious. This is still so new, what if I lose him as soon as I tell him ‘yeah if you stay with me you’ll never have a family’?” 

“First of all, I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but definitely don’t say it like that. Second of all, if you lose him because your goals for the future don’t align then he was never really yours to begin with. It just means your person is still out there and so is his.” 

“I know that was meant to be comforting but the thought of him having a person out there that isn’t me is making me nauseous.” 

“Sure it’s not morning sickness?” she teased and you scowled at your phone screen. 

“I’m serious, Nat… I know it’s early and we’re just starting to settle into a groove but I feel like he’s it, you know?”

“No, I really don’t know how my beautiful and smart best friend winds up being it for Hangman, but you know I love and support you and all your choices… including whatever you decide to do if the test is positive. At the end of the day the final say is yours, but I think you should at least include him in the conversation.” 

“I know, I just… shit,” you were cut off by the sound of your front door and Jake’s voice letting you know it was him. “I completely forgot he was coming over.”

“Talk to him, even if it doesn’t go well it’s better to know now, it’ll only hurt worse later… and for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’ll be whatever worst case scenario you’ve concocted,” she said before you hung up and Jake was just walking into to bedroom as you exited the bathroom.

“Hey, there you are sweetheart,” he said with that famous smirk of his that was now only reserved for you. He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips that you easily reciprocated, “you on the phone?” 

“I was, with Nat,” you answered and he chuckled.

“Swear you two can’t go four hours without checking in. I have no idea how you make it through deployments.” He’d tease but he loved how close you were, if you weren’t he’d never have met you. You would have never been dragged into the Hard Deck and he’d never have the opportunity to spend two long months trying to win you over. She’d swear until her dying breath it had been the opposite of her intentions, but Jake would always consider himself indebted to Natasha for bringing you into his life.

“Yeah well, she had to tell me all about your epic failure at the pool table,” you said and he laughed. It absolutely had not been the topic of your call, but you were glad she had been texting you about your boyfriend’s terrible game against Bradley as it was happening so you had something to say while you worked up the nerve to tell him what you were really talking about. 

“Okay, it was not an epic failure,” he said as he pulled his spare clothes from your dresser and began working on the buttons of his khakis, “but if it was, it was only because I didn’t have my good luck charm.” 

“She said you’d use some cop out like that,” you replied and he playfully rolled his eyes. He quickly pulled on his sweats and became acutely aware of how you hadn’t moved an inch since he arrived, and the way you were picking at a hangnail on your thumb. Normally, you’d have already jumped into bed and launched into a rundown of everything that happened during the day but you were silent, unmoving, and about to hit bone on your thumb. 

“Everything okay?” he asked as he shrugged his shirt on and you nodded, suddenly realizing how off you were being as well. 

“Just a long day at work,” you answered, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and you should have known he’d see right through you. He always did, even before you were officially together. Jake had learned you and all your cues in record time and nothing got under his skin more than when you tried to pretend he hadn’t… like you were right now. 

“Wanna try that again?” He sat beside you and put a reassuring hand on your thigh, and the simple action had you letting out a sigh. 

“I’m late,” you said and Jake just nodded. Most men would have asked late for what? but as you’d learned over the past several months, Jake wasn’t most men and he didn’t need to prod to realize what you meant, especially when you were this visibly anxious.

“Okay, have you taken a test yet? Do we need to go get one?” He kept his tone even and measured, not wanting to add any more stress onto your plate.

You shook your head, “there’s one in the bathroom,” you answered. He hated the way you were avoiding his eyes and the way you hadn’t stopped picking at your hands.

“Let’s take the test so we know exactly what we’re dealing with, and then regardless of the result we’ll sit right here and talk it all out… how does that sound?” he asked and you smiled softly but it didn’t reach your eyes. He was always proactive, any time something came up he immediately sought out a solution and you weren’t at all surprised this was his response.

“I think that sounds good,” you said as you stood, “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be right here,” he replied and you knew from the look in his eyes he meant that in more ways than one. Seeing you stressed or overwhelmed wasn’t new for him, but this was something else entirely… normally you’d be frazzled over something work related and you’d vent to him and snap back to normal but you were completely withdrawn. He knew you were scared, frankly he was a little scared too, but he was suddenly worried he hadn’t made his feelings clear enough. There really wasn’t anything you could do at this point to send him running, and especially not this; he desperately wanted to know what was nagging at you so he could reassure it away.

You returned from the bathroom and took up your previous spot beside him, stick in hand, “two minutes.” you said softly and he leaned over to press a kiss to your temple.

“Hey, whatever it is we’ll figure it out. Everything will be okay,” he said and you nodded but he could tell his words just rolled right off you, not sticking in the slightest. He thought it’d be best to stay silent while you waited, he’d be able to get to the root of it once you both knew exactly what was going on.

The timer on your phone startled you and you silenced it as you took a deep breath. Jake slid his hand through your free one and intertwined your fingers, squeezing reassuringly as you flipped the test over. Negative. You exhaled in relief and dropped your head against his shoulder and he quickly lifted his arm to pull you into his chest. Emotion tugged at you despite how you tried to keep it at arm's length, and eventually you succumbed to the tears trying to break free.

“It’s okay, everything’s okay,” Jake whispered, kissing the top of your head and drawing soothing patterns along your back. He continued to talk, low reassurances that weren’t quite registering but the tenor of his voice eventually calmed you down and when the emotions finally ran their course he hooked a finger under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. “Talk to me, what had you so worried?” he asked gently, wiping away the tears on your cheeks.

You considered your options: you could say you were just terrified by an unplanned pregnancy and push past it, or you could do what you knew you needed to and be honest despite the fact you were somehow convinced it’d bring the end of your relationship. “I don’t want kids,” you blurted out and he was nearly as surprised by the sudden confession as you were.

“I- I never have, I… never envisioned that life for myself and I’ve never felt that thing people feel that makes them want kids. I know I’m like… broken or something, I know it literally goes against my biological nature to not want kids, I just don’t and I know that can be a deal breaker so I understand if you don’t want to stay-"

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” he interrupted, his tone still gentle but not as soft as it had been earlier. “You are not broken. It’s perfectly normal to not want kids and you don’t need to justify that, to me or anyone else. This isn’t a deal breaker, sweetheart, I’m pretty convinced nothing is at this point,” he said and this reassured you slightly, loosened the knot in your stomach slightly.

“You don’t want kids?” you asked, your voice still timid and small. You didn’t want to ask but you needed to know, this was your one shot to get everything out in the open and make sure you were on the same page.

He thought carefully for a moment before answering. “I honestly haven’t given it a lot of thought. My life is so up in the air, literally and figuratively, I don’t think I’ve ever been able to picture slowing down enough to factor kids in. That’s not to say I’ve never wanted them, but I’ve never been attached to the idea.”

“Is it disappointing to know that if you stay with me you’ll never have that option? I don’t want you to have regrets or end up resenting me because I never gave you a family.” Jake’s heart cracked at the look on your face and the emotion thinly veiled in your eyes. In the back of his mind he knew this was coming from somewhere specific… At some point someone had made you feel like you were broken, had either said or made you feel like a life with you wouldn’t be enough without kids and he hated that. He hated that right now it seemed like you were just waiting for him to echo the sentiment and leave you stranded. 

“Sweetheart, if that test had been positive and you wanted to keep it I’d be thrilled to start a family with you, just as thrilled as I am to build a life just the two of us. I don’t love you because of your ability to provide me with a hypothetical family… I love you because you’re you, that’s always going to be enough for me.” Your breathing hitched as you processed his words, you literally felt the weight lift off your chest at the reassurance he really wasn’t going anywhere and it gave your heart the room to thud wildly against your rib cage.

“You love me?” you asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips and his eyes widened. In the heat of the moment he hadn’t realized what he’d confessed and he felt himself flush.

“Yeah, I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it just now, or so soon- I do love you but this night has been emotionally overwhelming enough, please don’t feel like you have-“ he was rambling, and you were having a hard time keeping your enjoyment in check. 

Jake was a confident and assured man, it’s part of what drew you to him at first, but now he was a stumbling mess with crimson cheeks because he’d just confessed he loved you and you were sure he’d never been more attractive to you. Not when he sidled up beside you and bought every drink you ordered every time you were in the Hard Deck with that cocky smirk and those sparkling eyes, not when he boldly flirted with you every time he saw you despite Natasha threatening to have him shot out of the sky, and not when he threw an arm around your shoulder and called you his girlfriend with no real confirmation, he just knew you were his and he was yours. None of those moments of the smooth and charismatic Jake you knew compared to this sweet and bashful one in front of you.

You cut him off by pressing your lips to his in a searing kiss, knowing he wouldn’t stop unless you did it for him. He responded instantly and you couldn’t help but giggle as you pulled back. “I love you, too.” you said and in the blink of an eye he regained his confidence, pulling you back into him and kissing you like a man starved. 

“You just made me the happiest man on earth, darlin’,” he said, pecking your lips once more. “A life with you is everything I ever dreamed of. We don’t have to talk about this ever again unless you want to… I just need you to know that I’ll remain the happiest man on earth so long as I’ve got you, no hypothetical children could ever make me regret or resent you.” 

You felt the need to be closer to him and crawled into his lap to wrap around him like a koala, squeezing so tight he let out a strained laugh. “I love you,” you said again as he held you close.

“I love you too, sweetheart… Now what do you say we get some snacks and ice cream and decompress with a movie night?” he asked and your eyes widened as you pulled back, suddenly remembering what you’d left on the counter. 

“My ice cream!” you yelled, disentangling yourself from him and sprinting down the hallway to assess the damage and he trailed behind you chuckling the whole way… he watched you frown as you looked at what had turned into soup and you pulled out your phone, mumbling something about getting it delivered because there was no way you’d go without a sweet treat tonight. He was paying attention, because of course he was, but as he stood leaning against the doorframe looking at you with a lovesick expression on his face he was thinking about the future. 

He saw nights at the bar, you heckling his friends better than he ever could and getting away with it in a way he never did. He saw travel at every opportunity and nights-in just like you were about to have. He saw romantic dinners and fights and nights of endless passion — and maybe he saw a dog down the line. He saw himself putting a big rock on your finger and buying you a house with a porch swing out back because he knew that’s all you really wanted, and it’s there on that swing you’d watch the sun rise and set over the ocean and truly start to grow old together. He saw it all, the good and the bad, in a split second while watching you lean over the kitchen counter, eyes glued to your phone as you scrolled through your options, and he couldn’t help but beam. ‘As if I could ever regret a life with you,’ he thought.

[fictionalgap]

The Roommate: Too Scared (chapter 2)

Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Reader

Summary: You're too scared of horror movies to a point of not being able to sleep alone after seeing one. PJ dares you to watch a horror movie with them.

Warning: 18+ Themes

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, swearing

Other Chapters: Chapter 1 , Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Chapter 5

Song recommendation: She - dodie

The next morning you felt much better, thanks to Hazel.

You got up, took a shower and cleaned up your room a little bit before anyone else woke up. You wanted yourself and your room to be fresh and clean.

Your tummy screamed for food and you decided to make pancakes. The smell woke up the other hungry wolves whom didn't even bother to change their pjs.

"Ooooh… Pancakes!" PJ shouted cheerfully, her hands in the air.

"It's still morning PJ!" Josie groaned as she covered her ears. "Morning, Y/N. How do you feel?" Josie looked at you with tired and sympathetic eyes.

"I'm much much better. Like I've never got sick."

"I'm glad to hear that." Hazel appeared behind you. She inspected your face and checked your tempature with back of her hand. Her hand was touching you. Her face was really close. 'She is so fucking pretty.' you thought to yourself as you got lost in her blue orbs.

She must have noticed your way too long staring cause she started to stutter.

"Y-you s-seem bet- better." she backed away a little and you couldn't help but pouted at her getting away.

PJ and Josie looked at each other with knowing smiles.

"Well, I was lucky to have a such a good nurse..." you tried smiled at her warmly. She blushed and averted her gaze.

Then you noticed what you said and turned to the pancakes, trying to hide your blush.

"Aaaah, Hazel mothered you again? How cute." PJ grinned.

Hazel stepped on PJ's foot to stop her from talking.

"Oww!"

You didn't say anything You were too busy blushing and flipping pancakes.

You all ate your pancakes and watched some shitty TV show for almost four hours.

"I'm bored!" PJ groaned loudly.

"You're always bored. But yeah- I'm bored too." Josie said as she sighed.

"I want beer." PJ said and looked lost in thought for a minute. "And shots." She added.

That's how you end up in the middle of the living room, on the carpet and getting dizzy.

And of course It fucking would end up you all playing never have I ever.

"Never have I ever, screamed while watching a scary movie."

You and PJ took shots.

"Really?" Hazel raised her brow with a sided smile.

"PJ screams watching horror movies all the time." Josie stated.

Hazel nodded to Josie then turned to you like she was waiting for an explanation.

"Visual and audial effects really get to me." You explained drowsily.

"Why did we never watch a horror movie? We've been living together for months!"

"Count me out." you said.

"That much?" Hazel raised her eyebrows to your direction.

"Don't be such a pussy." PJ said

"Says the one who screams while watching the movies…" Hazel intervened with a smirk on her face.

"At least, I watch them." PJ rolled her eyes.

You rolled your eyes to what PJ has said.

"We don't have to watch horror movies." Hazel said slowly.

"Yeah, or we won't watch with Y/N."

"As long as I am not a part of it." you stated.

All of you started to get bored so you decided to play truth or dare.

"Truth." you said quickly.

PJ rolled her eyes to your answer. "You always pick the truth. Can you be more boring?"

"Fine! Dare. Are you happy?" you felt overwhelmed.

"Very." PJ grinned in an evil manner.

"I dare you to watch a horror movie with us."

"You…" you gritted your teeth then you felt Hazel's hand on your waist. Her hand draw circles on your back.

She tried to comfort you. You calmed down for a bit.

"You don't have to do it, hun." Hazel whispered to your ear without making it too obvious she was whispering.

PJ was already going through movie options You saw Josie's brow raising and smiling in a knowing manner when her eyes met with Hazel's hand on you waist and whispering into your ear.

You weren't sure of what you've heard but you guessed it was something like 'hun'. Which was short for honey. Which was a pet name.

Hazel just used a pet name on you.

If you haven't imagined it all.

" Hey I heard you! Don't try to discourage her. " PJ shouted.

Josie looked at you as she was waiting for your answer. Same as PJ and Hazel.

You didn't want to watch any horror movies. Last time you watched , you couldn't sleep alone for a week. You also didn't want PJ be PJ and shut her mouth for once. You would probably be terrified but you didn't care. You wouldn't show it even a little bit. If you can…

"Pick the movie…" you said with a gloomy look in your eyes.

"Yes! " PJ threw a punch in the air.

Josie laughed when PJ and Hazel were fighting over which movie they all should watch.

"PJ acts like she wants to watch the worst to scare you but she will give up cause she is scared as hell too." she whisper to you when they were fighting. Hazel wanted to pick a beginner movie for you since you were scared easily but PJ wanted the scariest. Thankfully, they decided on something average.

You chuckled to what Josie has said.

"Also she will probably sleep with me tonight." she said with a side smile.

"What? No fucking way." you raised your brows as your mouth took the shape of 'o'.

"You sure you don't say that to make me feel better?" you narrowed your eyes.

She shrugged. "Come check my room tonight, If you don't believe." she said as she took a sip of her beer.

The movie was really scary for you but you managed to watch it without screaming, flinching or running away. Hazel sat next to you and checked on you every five minutes to see If you were really scared. You thought she wasn't expecting you to stay so calm during the movie. PJ felt incredibly annoyed when you didn't seem scared. She crossed her arms with a frown on her face and screaming from time to time, hiding her face with a pillow during the movie. Josie was enjoying the movie as she was watching a comedy genre. She laughed a lot. Hazel would enjoyed the movie too If she didn't constantly look at you.

"Hazel…I'm fine. Really."

"What?"

"You are looking at me every five minutes…" you stated.

"Oh, I-I I am just looking If you are too uncomfortable. We could always watch somethi-"

"No, It's fine. Really." you said as you looked at her and sighed.

"Okay. Just tell me." she said as she put a little smile on her lips.

"Will do, hun." you said cockily. Your mouth was faster than your brain otherwise It would not allow this. You couldn't help yourself and blushed.

Hazel chuckled at what you have said and she continued to watch the movie, smiling.

The truth was, she wasn't checking on you to see If you were okay with the scene but It was an excuse to look at you more in detail.

Everyone went to sleep. Of course you didn't sleep. You threw up all the beers and shots to the toilet so you were very awake and terrified. You felt like you held your breath for too long when you went into your room.

You got out of your room anyways. It has been an hour since everyone went to bed. You wanted to see If Josie was right. If PJ was actually scared so much that she couldn't sleep alone.

You opened your phone's flashlight. Josie's and your room were facing each other so it was easier to be brave walking in the dark.

Josie's door was slightly open and you took a peek. PJ was there with Josie. She was right. She was-

"Y/N?" a raspy voice called behind you.

You couldn't form a thought for a while. You turned around slowly to see a sleepy Hazel with a glass of water in her hand.

"What are you doing front of Josie's room... with flashlight? " she whispered.

"Hazel… you." you put your hand on your chest as you exhaled.

"Shit. I forgot about tonight. Sorry. Did I scare you?" She put her hand on your arm and squeezed it slightly.

You liked that very much.

"A little bit. It's fine." you held yourself mentally from hugging her right there as you gulped.

"Josie told me PJ will sleep in her bed because won't be able to sleep own her own." you whispered to her.

Hazel looked behind you, inside Josie's room and she smiled smugly. "Knew it. She's all bark, no bite." she smiled to you.

"Yeah..." you chuckled.

Her brows furrowed. "Did you sleep?" Her hand left your arm and you already missed it there. You noticed there were no rings on her fingers.

"Not really." you averted your eyes and bit your lip.

She put a small smile on her face and she grabbed your hand to pull you to your own room. "I'll sleep with you."

"Wha-, Really?"

"Yes. I-If It will help you s-sleep." She explained nervously as she stopped next to your bed.

You could say that she didn't need to do this. On the other hand, you knew you wanted this for a very long time.

"Okay." you smiled cheekily, went to your bed and waited for Hazel to hop in.

She put the water to your bedside table. Hazel slided in your bed and positioned herself so you could face each other. You looked in each others eyes for a while.

"Hi." your smile met your eyes.

"Hi." she beamed at you. She looked a little bit dumbfounded as she didn't believe this was happening.

"Good night Hazel." you said as you closed your eyes.

"Good night, hun." she mumbled.

Next morning you woke up feeling refreshed and energetic but also you felt warmth on some parts of your body.

You and Hazel were tangled. You felt her legs, arms and chest. Her chest was on your face. Not in a suffocating way.

Not that you minded to die this way.

She was still sleeping so you decided to savour this moment. You tilted your head and watched her sleeping. She looked peaceful like a baby. 'She looks adorable, cute, preciou-'

"Good morning, hun." the sleepy girl mumbled and then a side smile appeared on her pink lips.

She probably saw you watching her. You felt like a creep.

"Good morning…" you tried to untangle yourself from her but she pulled you closer to her.

"H-hazel…" you said and her comfortable mood changed into a nervous one.

"I-I am sorry I -I thought you were okay with it. I-I" She looked at you like a kicked puppy and you cursed yourself again in silence.

"Hazel I am okay with it! It's just… I didn't want to bother you."

She looked at you as If you were speaking in another language.

"You can never bother me Y/N." she said like she said It's a well known fact. You checked her face for any lies but you already know that she didn't lie and she would never lie to you.

"Oh…well then" you sighed and your muscles relaxed a bit, a smile forming on your lips then you put your head on her chest.

You heard and felt her grinning. It felt too good to be true.

You felt her hand at the back of your head. She was caressing your hair.

You closed your eyes as you felt her lips on top of your head, giving a peck.

You wished to stay in this moment forever.

"Hazel... " you mumbled.

"Hm? "

"I really appreciate it. Before yesterday and last night. It- It really means a lot to me. Everything you did... Thank you. "

"You're welcome. I'm just glad you are okay. " You both hugged each other tighter.

You loved how she smelled, how she sound, how she felt, who she is and-

"Oh my god! Josie! Come here! " PJ shouted from the door.

"Wha-? Oh... Finally. " Josie smirked at you and Hazel and you both stood up from bed.

"Why are you looking at us like that? "your face was serious.

"We have been in the middle of you guys ogling each other and It's been really annoying. You finally did it. We would force you to have sex with each other If you didn't. " PJ ranted frantically.

"What? We didn't have sex! " Hazel said nervously.

"Yeah, we just slept. She came here for me because of your fucking dare, PJ. "

"Ah! I knew I could get to you. "

"PJ you slept beside Josie last night. " Hazel had a pissed expression on her face which she didn't really normally has.

PJ's smirk vanished from her face.

"Ugh, whatever...We didn't cuddle. You did. So just admit it and finger each other. " she said nonchalantly.

"PJ!" you shouted.

"Is anyone hungry? Let's have breakfast. " Josie said, trying to stop this.

" I have class. If you excuse me, I'm going to change. " you said in a aggressive voice.

Everyone left your room but Hazel.

She came closer to you as she was going to say something.

"I'm sorry. " you and she said at the same time.

You both grinned and your faces got more pink than they were.

"It's ok. " you said at the same time again and laughed.

You sighed and smiled at Hazel.

"So I'm gonna... " she pointed the door with her thumb with a relieved smile.

"Yeah... " you nodded to her and you tried to hide how pink your cheeks were.

"Oh my god, just kiss already! " PJ shouted froom the door frame.

Hazel and you chuckled nervously. She went to your door quickly and pushed PJ lightly. She gave you an apologetic smile and mouthed "Sorry." before closing your door.

You slept beside her. You woke up and found yourself cuddling with her. She played with your hair and peck your forehead.

Maybe it was all a dream or maybe you were dying. Maybe it was universe taking an interest in you.

'How the fuck am I going to recover from this? ' you groaned to yourself.

[mycatmoo]

Y'know. I've been thinking about that au @mari-lair talked about where vaugarde was the country that was forgotten and not the island and just. Thinking about the wider implications for the world? Cause like. The island didn't seem to have had much effect on the world. But vaugarde was an entire country. So there would have been trade routes and politics and all that jazz going on that would just. Disappear. And like, referencing the map on the wiki, there's 3 nearby countries that could witness vaugarde disappearing, poteria, mwudu, and the country south of vaugarde. Those are 3 countries that could have really felt vaugarde's disappearance. There was probably a lot of information that was lost in those countries, and a lot people in those countries likely had friends and family in vaugarde that they just forgot about. Like the implications of vaugarde disappearing would have wider consequences for the world than one island

This post got long so I'm putting a read more here

Also like. The question of what happened the vaugarde is of wider importance now? Vaugarde was in the middle of 3 countries and an island after all. Is vaugarde like, this big inhospitable wasteland that as far as everyone can remember was *always* like that? How do people feel about that? Are there people that wants to try to make the area habitable? Or people that try to adventure into the area, to test their craft skills or for the sake of adventure or anything? Considering that in isat people knew the island existed but can't remember anything about it, they just knew something happened to it, do people in this world go "Oh yea the country east of heeeeere... wait, what? What am I talking about?" Or is it like everyone knew there was another country everyone forgot but never thought that the inhospitable area is that country? How much of vaugarde is still in this area, but is inaccessible for one reason or another? My thought is that a reason it's inhospitable is that it seems like there's a never ending stream of sadnessese there, but they never seem to cross the borders into other countries, they just stay in vaugarde

Another option though is that the area vaugarde was in just turned into the ocean. I don't have as many thoughts for this idea, I just have one main joke idea. Because there is definitely at least one town in poteria or the country south of vaugarde that didn't have any type of port or dock because. Why would they? They're landlocked. Boats are useless to them. But then one day some person is just standing by the ocean, staring out at, and goes.

"...wait. can't we fish? Why don't we fish? Why dont we have a dock? Wait can we get merchants and sailors here?"

And like. Rip vaugarde but some small town is about to become a major trading hub between the 3 remaining countries and an island. This makes me wonder how much of vaugarde is still around. Like did vaugarde sink into the ocean and you can see the remains of the country that once existed here if you have the means? Does vaugarde become this world's version of Atlantis? If vaugarde becomes this world's version of Atlantis does people use it as some type of cautionary tale? Or did vaugarde just completely disappear, and take everything in the area vaugarde once was with it? Wow so much for "I don't have a lot of thoughts" for this option

But yea. I just- I think the implications of vaugarde disappearing is interesting. And yea that's my essay

[bloggingboutburgers]

this past week my qpp of almost two years broke up with me. and i know for you, you said you wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if your qpr came to an end, but for me, it felt more heartbreaking than some of my past romantic breakups. this whole thing made me wonder if maybe im not queerplatonic or aro enough to be in a qpr, or if id ever want to be in a qpr again. but seeing you post about your qpr gives me hope that queerplatonic love is something that i can experience fully. so thank you for always sharing your story, because that's what's helping me heal right now <3

Aah, to be perfectly honest, as much as I sorta "downplay" it compared to what it must feel for people who experience romantic attraction... I've had a time where I almost felt like I couldn't go on with my QPP as well and the sheer thought of it was really hard to bear too, so my words here aren't necessarily being very fair to the reality of things.

It was during the travel ban of March 2020 to November 2021 where citizens of my country and others weren't allowed to enter the US unless we spent 15 days in a country that wasn't banned. It made it much harder than usual to visit my partner and as it was nearing 2 years with nobody aware it was going on anymore and US people more concerned about whether they'd be able to have turkey for Thanksgiving, my hope was running really thin. So for a few days in mid-October, as I was at rock bottom, I was starting to write in passing to my partner about how maybe going on wasn't worth it because the separation was too hard on us, it wasn't showing signs of stopping, and the whole thing maybe wasn't worth the pain if they could live their life happily and not have to worry about me who couldn't visit.

And then we videocalled at some point, and when they tearfully told me that even if it did end then and there, they wanted me to keep the promise ring they'd recently given me, I suddenly felt a quiet rage in me going like "No. Fuck this. Look at them. I love them. And I love this too much to allow some cruel governmental decision to end it. If it ever ends, it'll be because WE want it to end. Not because of shit like this."

...I'm making it sound super dramatic but yeah long story short this is also a big reason why we're planning to get married. So that when the US government decides to put a ban on countries including mine again, they can't stop us from vibing together this time.

I guess... I still don't wanna 100% assume we'll be together forever because I don't wanna trap them in a situation they may no longer feel happy in. We're doing great now, but I still have it in the back of my mind that maybe someday they'll get sick of me (they say they never will and that'd be dope if they never did, but never say never and all), or we'll both just want other things, and if it ends like that, then... Yeah, that'd be alright. Much more alright than the way it almost ended.

(...Oh, and for the record, if a friendship of mine ended abruptly, or if my brothers stopped being on good terms with me, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as heartbroken, to be fair. And it'd feel like my reality was collapsing a little. I guess anything ending, any human connection ending, has that effect to a degree, if it's important enough, after all.)

Though describing things like that does make it a bit harder to define what makes it "queerplatonic" as opposed to "romantic", I still... Just have that feeling in my gut that it isn't romance, y'know? It's kinda... A mix between being close friends and being an old married couple without ever having gone through the grandiose passion-honeymoon phase. Maybe that phase IS what defines romance per se. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll find more answers, but it's kinda hard to find answers when you have no idea how romance works to begin with I guess 🙈

In any case... Sorry if I caused any confusion or if I made you question your validity. The thing is pretty simple to be honest: if you feel you're aro, you're veeeeeery likely to BE aro. Because nobody can make that call but you and nobody can name the relationships you have but you. And if amongst everything you even FOUND the words "aro" or "queerplatonic" in a world where those identities and types of relationships are so aggressively hidden or erased, then it's gotta stand for something.

...I guess at the very least THIS I can be certain of TwT Sorry I'm a bit messy about all of this myself, I'm still also going on about it trying to figure it out day by day, but I owed it to you and everyone to be honest. These things are hard to define and I hope to keep finding better and better words to do so someday. TwT

[burningstrangerkingdom]

Jealousy

Charles Leclerc x reader Summary: It's not that easy to date one of the most handsome faces in the world. Notes: Based on the song Pienso en tu mirá - Rosalia

Jealousy was not in your nature for the simple reason that you had researched too much about it, as well as to understand that this feeling is the first step needed to transform a beautiful relationship into a toxic and inhospitable environment, you had read it in various sources and had reinforced it through the experiences of your friends.

Even so, and although you gave everything of yourself to avoid it, a terrible feeling of fear flooded your being every time Charles walked out the door, fortunately for you the gesture you made to want to hold him a few more moments before leaving, far from seeming invasive she found it adorable.

Once again, Charles left his apartment, this time heading towards the golf course where his brothers, Pierre and Joris were already waiting for him to spend a relaxing afternoon with the boys.

"See you later, chérie", he said goodbye, leaving a small kiss on your lips.

As usual, you joined hands when he kissed you and, as usual, when you had to separate for him to continue on his way, you hesitaded letting him go.

"What's wrong, mon cour?" He said with a little smile.

"About what?" You ask, pretending you don't understand what he meant.

"This", he pointed to your index finger still clinging to the palm of his left hand.

"Nah, it's just silly", you gave him a reassuring smile that didn't serve it's purpose.

"No, it's not silly, it must mean something, and I'm not complaining. I really like feeling your love, but it's something I've been noticing a lot lately and I want you to know that you can tell me anything."

"I don't want you to be late for the boys, you go with them and when you return I'll tell you", trying to distract him you started to play with the rings on his fingers.

He pretended to think about it but he turned around and sat on the sofa making you sit on him, "Don't leave me wondering, Y/N, tell me please", he said now more seriously and the look on his eyes gave you no choice but to speak your mind right away, those gorgeous eyes always did their trick on you.

You let out a breath and whispered "I'm scared, Charles."

Suddenly the smile on his face faded and his place was taken by a frown of concern. "Scared of what, Y/N?"

With your eyes closed, you let out another sigh and then looked directly into his eyes as you placed one of your hands on his heart and the other intertwined with his fingers, "That one of the times you go out you don't come back to me, Charles. I'm afraid of the effect that your angelic appearance causes on others, and don't get me wrong, I don't intend to lock you up by my side forever and I love your independence, it's not that I doubt the love you have for me… it's just that all these feelings are so new to me, I've never experienced them with anyone else."

Your eyes were glossy as you let out those overwhelmed thoughts that rounded on your mind, "I'm jealous, Charles, a kind of jealousy that comes more from envy of everyone and everything, of people who see you from afar even when you walk together me, the water that runs through your body even when we take showers together, the fraction of a second in which a morning craving takes over your mind, everything, Charles. Even if I try to limit myself, I can't help but want to be everything to you , and I'm afraid that maybe this will make you walk away from me forever."

He listened attentively to those thoughts and feelings that torment you and, by the time you completely removed them from your chest, he raised your clasped hands and deposited a series of kisses on your knuckles.

"I understand what you're saying, mon âme", your hopeful gaze looked at him more intensely, "I understand you because I feel that way about you too, it's just that I'm not good enough to put it into words just like you just did, so I thank you for translating my mind and for loving me the same way that I love you… And I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with feeling as intensely as we both do, I know that right now society seeks to balance everything it can to make it more pragmatic, but we are talking about feelings, our feelings. And for me it is important that you know that in our relationship we can be ourselves, we do not have to limit ourselves in any way."

At the end of their confessions, you both had tears running down your cheeks, however, none of you rushed to get rid of them as had happened on previous occasions, since this time those tears would not come from negative feelings but from an excess of love that flooded your hearts. seeing its opportunity to come out in watery form.

"I love you so much Charles Marc Hervé Leclerc".

He poured all his love for you in a breathtaking kiss that made you feel the purest places of his soul.

"I love you so much Y/N".

Thank you so much for reading, any kind of interaction is highly apreciated

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I've been thinkin' on it, and I think the biggest reason people are still insisting that Ed is just awful and abusive and whatever (aside from the racism of it all) is because the writers of OFMD fundamentally assume that viewers will like him and be on his side.

And, like, that is one hell of a reasonable assumption. Before s2 we spent a lot of time getting to know Ed; we see he's very sweet and smart and can be silly, and his self-esteem isn't great and he already has a lot of self-destructive tendencies and struggles with believing he can have nice things. These are all things we see in s2 and none of them should come as a surprise. We've gotten to know Ed and in s2 the writers assume we will be able to grant him even the barest ounce of sympathy.

"But he's being super violent and hurting the crew!" Ed's behavior at the beginning of s2 is best described as "a bit over the top" in the context of the show, and before he pulls out all the stops trying to get the crew to mutiny on him in his suicide attempt, he never actually hurts anyone except for Izzy (Izzy's the guy who threatened him and caused all this, or he'd still be crying in his blanket fort at the start of the season. OFMD has ALWAYS had a "talk shit get hit" philosophy and Izzy should not be the sole exception).

"But he never had to face any consequences for his actions!" I think almost getting beaten to death and then having to spend an entire episode convincing yourself you deserve to live is a pretty big consequence, actually.

"But he never apologized!" The group apology in s2e5 was obviously a joke (Stede clearly wrote it anyway and made Ed memorize it, look how Stede mouths along and Ed fumbles his lines), and it's pretty clear that Ed's conversation with Fang is meant to represent what he's doing with everyone. He's trying. He thinks up a way to try to give Lucius closure, even though it doesn't work, and when Fang mentions something Ed did that hurt him, Ed immediately and genuinely apologizes. It is not a wild jump to assume Ed's doing that with other characters and the show just assumes we're smart enough to figure that out from context considering how the crew are good with Ed again in s2e6.

"What if he hurts Stede/is abusive to Stede?" Multiple characters ask Stede something to this effect, Stede says "that's really stupid, of course he won't," and Stede is right. Question easily answered.

We're shown that Ed's response to being hurt and upset is not immediately violence. His first response is to go and hide and make himself feel safe - tub, blanket fort, hiding under the blanket and Anne and Mary's. Violence is Ed's response to feeling threatened. There's a difference. We're shown this over and over and over again, and frankly the only reason I think some people miss it is because they don't care to think about what's making Ed feel threatened in the first place.

It's just so clear that some people watching this show care so little about Ed and only care about what he can offer in a scene with other characters. Ed did not enjoy anything that happened at the beginning of the season - the last time we see him in s1 he's sobbing his poor eyes out and that's implied to have been consistent through s2e2. He's suicidal and having a miserable time and yes, he's hurting people who care about him, but it's not just for funsies, it's because he's trying to get himself killed. It's wild to me that some people can turn on the Ed and Stede show, see Ed pull himself out of such a terrible place by the end of the season and commit to a life with his boyfriend, and think that the show is setting up Ed to be abusive or imply he hasn't gone through any character growth and just coasted through the season.

[naamahdarling]

MY medical update:

I am beginning to feel like I will never reach the end of anything. I am legitimately folding like a wet house of cards. My mental health is being profoundly negatively affected as my identity as "a unique and vibrant human being with a meaningful life" is increasingly subsumed into a deeply trauma-adjacent and depersoning identity as "a patient", with all the associated expectations that I will repeatedly and with minimal complaint allow people I barely know or have never met access to my emotions and my traumatized and marginalized body. That is not safe space within which to exist. Medical professionals, even the very kind ones, often forget the toll that "care" can take. (Bad ones disregard it altogether.)

My unusually high degree of emotional awareness allows me to see what is happening, and even allows me to cope with it very well, but "very well" is still not enough to make this sustainable over the long term. I don't actually know where to go or what to do from here.

I am torn between wanting to get all of these appointments out of the way as quickly as possible, so that I can relax without anything hanging over my head, and spacing things out just to give myself room to fucking breathe even though that means I will always have something lurking in the near future, causing me dread. I've run the math in my head over and over and I still can't work it out. There are too many unknowns, and too many variables, and too many ways things could go wrong either way I go.

I don't even know if there is a right choice. I don't know if there is a best answer. I've never been under this kind of pressure for so long before, I have been struggling with one thing or another since before the beginning of the year, and it is genuinely starting to do what I believe could turn into lasting harm.

I had a long and helpful talk with my boyfriend tonight, and while it did not fix much, it did help me to understand that the constant pressure on me is making it difficult for him to be here for me as much as he would like to be able to, and that's obviously distressing to him. That hit me really hard, because that is exactly the position I was in earlier this year trying to get his medication refilled and trying to help him deal with a deeply incompetent dental clinic.

I very much appreciate that he shared that with me, and I probably will try to find a way to slow things down and space things out, because even if I don't know that is what is best for me, if that is what is best for him, that's what I want to do. I've been so overwhelmed trying to manage my own emotional state that I sadly have not stopped to think about the effect this has had on him. I do feel guilty about that, but the important thing is that he let me know and I heard him.

I am very tired, and I'm praying that next week is uneventful. I don't have anything scheduled, but that doesn't mean that something annoying or even actually horrible might not occur.

Right now I'm going to have a snack and go to bed and hope that the pharmacy refills my meds tomorrow so that I can go back to having 30% less ADHD.

[giggly-squiggily]

Nailed It! (Blue Lock)

Heyo! It's been a minute since I've written for Blue Lock! After fangirling over Bachisagi with the wonderful @intheticklecloset- this fic came to be! :D I hope you like it friend! :3

Summary: Bachira finds fake nails and decides he wants claws. Shenanigans ensue.

Bachira all but threw the bag in his face the second he came in. “I bought claws!”

“Claws?” Chigiri asked once his initial shock wore off. Bachira grinned as he dug into the bag.

“CLAWS!” He cried once more, presenting the pack of stick on nails. Plain in appearance, they shined under the fluorescent lights of the facility. “See?”

“Pfft-” The redhead giggled, taking the box and examining them. “Claws indeed. Why’d you buy fake nails?”

“‘Cause.” Bachira didn’t add more, dumping the remains of his goodies across the futon. An assortment of colorful nail polish and stickies fell out. “I wanted claws!”

“....You want me to do your nails?”

“Yeah! Give me claws!”

Chigiri blinked. Then he laughed, nodding. “Alright, I’ll give you ‘claws’.” Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

~~~

Unsurprisingly, Chigiri was amazing at this stuff.

With the precision of a surgeon, he held Bachira’s hands in his own as he carefully placed each fake nail. His hair was loosely tied back, falling over his shoulder as he leaned in to check if they were straight. “Good- you don’t want these crooked- it hurts.”

“You’ve worn claws before?” Bachira smiled happily, kicking his feet under the table as he watched. His other hand was already adorned with fake nails. The urge to tap them against the table and make a clicky sound was strong, but Chigiri insisted he waited until he had them painted.

“No- I’m allergic to the adhesive. Makes my fingers turn red.” Chigiri wrinkled his nose as he adjusted the remaining finger. “My sister wears them all the time though- I used to help her out. She could never get them to stay.”

“Hm.” Bachira nodded. “Do you paint your nails?”

“Not lately. They always chipped after practice. Hopefully these will stay on.” Just before Bachria’s turn, the dribbler insisted on painting his friends. Chigiri’s fingers were now coated with a surprisingly even set of pink.

Except for his ring fingers. Those were orange. “Kuni nails.” Bachira winked, making him blush and roll his eyes.

“I’m a good claw painter! And you are too- oooo.” Bachira forgot what he was saying when the first layer of blue touched his nails. It looked so much like Isagi’s eyes. “That’s pretty!”

“You picked them out- I assume you knew what you were doing.” Chigiri gave him a teasing brow raise. Heat creeped up Bachira’s collar as he averted his gaze, watching the redhead work. “Don’t squirm- you’ll mess up the design.”

“Design-” Bachira leaned forward to look, only for Chigiri to push him back in his seat with a pointed glare. “Sorry, sorry! I didn’t know you could draw!”

“I er..can’t. I can make squiggles though.” Chigiri laughed softly, making Bachira smile. “I hope you don’t mind them.”

Bachira took his hands, posing them the way his mom did whenever she got her own nails painted. Stripes of yellow cut through the blue on his ring fingers, the rest a beautiful application of blue. Chigiri even managed to put some of the sticky gems on them, really making them pop.

“I love them!” He breathed, giggling as he hugged the other. “Thanks Chi-Chi! I’m gonna wear them forever!”

“Heh, no problem. C-Careful, they’re not dry yet!” Chigiri called after him as Bachira ran off, giggling the entire time.

He couldn’t WAIT to show Isagi!

~~~

“Look look! My claws!” Bachira shoved them in pretty much everyone’s face, wiggling his fingers for the full effect. As soon as they were dry he was waving them around, clicking them against water bottles and anything that would make noise. Kunigami jokingly told him he should do ASMR with them- Bachira tried but was far too loud right off the bat.

“Wow, look at those. They’re pretty!” Isagi giggled as he took Bachira’s hands, taking them in. “Chigiri painted them for you?”

“No, I did.” Raichi called out, earning a small burst of giggles from the others. His own nails were painted black- courtesy of said redhead. “I’ll do yours next, Isagi. Give me your digits!”

Isagi rolled his eyes as he turned back to Bachira, finding him no longer there. “Bachi-”

Something blunt but ticklish trailed against his neck. He shuttered with a sharp yelp, diving forward. “Ahah!”

Silence, the rest of Team Z looking at him with looks of both curiosity and amusement. Isagi felt his face burn.

“Ooo…” Bachira cooed from behind, something dangerous in his tone. “Was that…”

Isagi had two options. Stay and take it or run and get it anyway.

He opted for the latter.

“Isagi!” Bachira called after him as he took off, flying over futons and people as he bolted out the door, the dribbler hot on his trail. “Come back here!”

Nope, no way! Not happening! It was bad enough that Bachira knew his worst tickle spots. With those nails…

He was gonna kill Chigiri. He’ll plan his revenge later.

For now, he needed to RUN-

A dead end! He turned with wide eyes as Bachira began a slow ascent, glittery nails wiggling with devious intent. “Isagi~”

He looked both ways, knowing it was useless. Bachira had him cornered. “Bachira! Bachira- now wahahit just a mohohment!”

“No can do! The monster’s telling me to get you, so here I COME!” Bachira charged, easily trapping his boyfriend against the wall as his fingers skittered and danced against the exposed skin of his neck. “Tickle tickle tickle!”

“AH! Ahehahahahahhaha! Bahahhachihihihirahahha! Heahhahahahahha!” The other boy squealed as he sank to the floor, half trapped by Bachira’s legs as the other pressed into him. Those dastardly nails danced against his skin, sending waves of sensitivity across his nerves. “Wahahahahait, wahahhait- thhehehehey’ll fahahhahahall oohohohohohofff!”

“Silly Isagi- I know they will! That just means I’m gonna have to use them to their fullest potential!” Bachira giggled, tugging his boyfriend gently until he was half-lying, half sitting up against the wall. As he went down, a strip of skin revealed itself, giving Bachira a new opening.

“Bahahahachi- Bahahchi- WHAHAHHAIT!” The brunette all but shrieked when Bachira’s new “claws” found the soft skin of his waist, gently tracing the skin along his lower ribs and sending him through the roof. “DOOHOHOHON’T NOOHOHOHT TEHEHEHEHERE!”

“Oo, someone’s ticklish! Tell me- does it tickle more or less with the nails?” The bob-cutted player snickered as he stuck a hand up Isagi’s sweatshirt, clawing at his skin as Isagi squealed and thrashed against the floor. “I bet it’ll tickle way more if I do this~” He dragged them slowly, watching as his boyfriend arched and wheezed at the feeling. “Am I right, Blue Skies?”

“BAAHAHCHIHIHIHIRAHHAHA! GEHAHAHAH PLEHAHAHHASE!” Isagi was sure he was going to die- he was starting to see stars and his body felt light. If he were being honest, he didn’t mind it all that much.

Then Bachira yelped and pulled his hands away and his ascend to the afterlife came to an abrupt halt. “Ehehehahha..yohoohu gohohohod?” He gasped out, hands coming around his belly as he weakly looked up.

“Ow…I didn’t realize that would hurt.” Bachira moaned, rubbing his fingers. Two of his fake nails had popped off, and a third was hanging on by a few strands of glue. “My claws..”

Isagi sat up with some effort, taking in the dribbler’s hands. Gently, he took them in his own, rubbing soothing circles against the aching fingers. “Sorry they popped off. They were cool while they lasted, though.”

“Hmm.” Bachira nodded, sounding a bit glum. Isagi smiled as he brought his hand to his lips, kissing the dribbler’s bruising fingers. The gesture was enough to shock him out of his pout.

“There. All better.” Isagi grinned after kissing the last of his fingers, scrunching his face up when he got a taste of nail polish. “Gross- how do people eat with this stuff on? I feel like it’d make everything taste weird.”

Bachira stared at him. Then he busted out laughing, falling against Isagi’s shoulder. “Ehehehhe! I lohohove you so much, Bluuhue skies!” He pulled back until he and Isagi were face to face, their foreheads pressed together as he gave him the sweetest of smiles. “Do you want me to kiss it all better?”

Isagi only laughed, nodding as he closed his eyes, Bachira’s lips capturing his own soon after.

Thanks for reading!

[cearthduo]

tbh I have never seen any cdream apologists call csapnap evil, rather I often see them calling him a stubborn dumbass🤷🏻

I've seen all of the above and not only on dreblr. However, even the take that Sapnap is stubborn or stupid in some way for wanting Dream locked up, or for any other reason is simply incorrect.

A lot of you fail to understand that Sapnap has every reason to dislike Dream and want him out of the way. Dream has personally hurt Sapnap. And people comparing his takes on Dream's imprisonment to those who have NEVER been effected by or even seen the effects of Dream's behavior is unfair.

And of course, as I'm saying this, know I'm not talking about every dream apologist. There are definitely outliers and exceptions to every rule. If this doesn't apply to you or the things you've personally seen that's fine! But there are people who think this way and this post is mostly directed towards them.

Now, from what I've seen, a lot of people don't understand Sapnap's relationship with Dream towards the end of the smp, so let me explain. Sapnap and Dream have never seen eye to eye on really... anything. George has always been a follower, but Sapnap does his own thing. There are times where Sapnap is on Dream's side just out of obligation the L'manberg war is a good example because Sapnap had no issues with L'manberg's creation until Dream did. There's also doomsday, since Sapnap felt wrong going against Dream and his allyship had to be bought by Tommy using Mars. Sapnap goes against Dream directly during the disc war because he technically caused it and therefore felt obligated to help Tommy, since they're also friends.

A lot of people don't know that Tommy and Sapnap have been pretty close friends since the beginning. Out of the Dream Team, Sapnap is actually the only one to not have a hatred for Tommy or his behavior. There was a time or two when he parroted George or Dream's opinions but it's obvious from the beginning that Sapnap feels differently than them about Tommy, L'manberg, and nations in general.

Saying all that to make the point that: Sapnap's disagreement with and fallout with Dream didn't come out of nowhere. Him going to Tommy to ask if he thought Dream actually cared about him wasn't random. He didn't just go up to an enemy and ask their opinion, Tommy is a friend. A friend who also knows Dream well. So when Tommy tells Sapnap that Dream doesn't care about him after the whole Spirit speech, he's obligated to believe him.

And now you're probably saying "Well Sapnap should've just talked to Dream about it." And he does. During the dethronement fallout. During this, Sapnap brings it up in front of Dream and George and Dream is simply dismissive. And he uses all his effort to convince George that he cares all while demonizing Sapnap and claiming he's trying to "split them apart" just for asking George for her feelings and opinions. Sapnap obviously doesn't like the way George or himself is being treated in that moment and it shows. As they're going back to El Rapids, Sapnap even says that he feels left behind by Dream. He feels that Dream is taking power and cutting both him and George out of it. And he absolutely is. When George is crowned king, Dream explicitly says that if anything were to happen to George then Sapnap is next in line for the throne. Yet Sapnap doesn't get the throne.

And now you may claim that "Dream wouldn't make Sapnap king because he doesn't want Sapnap to be targeted like George was." or "Sapnap has a nation, he can't get the kingship" and to that I say, Sapnap can protect himself, unlike George and Dream knows that. George was also king and sitting VP of Manberg at the same time, so Sapnap being part of El Rapids wouldn't have meant he couldn't be crowned. Sapnap wasn't crowned because Dream didn't want him to be. That's all.

Now moving past the dethronement, we can also talk about how Dream killed Quackity, hunted down and tried to kill George, and threatened to kill all of El Rapids (including Sapnap) into the mix. Then you can factor in how after all that, Sapnap still found it weird to go against Dream during doomsday (even despite his fiancés being on L'manbergs side) or lets not speak on the fact dream gave mars to tommy during the pet war.

Then you get to the stage conflict, and really this was the nail in the coffin. Had this only been a rescue mission for clingyduo maybe, just maybe, Sapnap wouldn't have been ok with keeping Dream in the prison. But that isn't the case. Because Dream had to (in Sapnap's eyes, he doesn't know things were staged) once again put power above Sapnap and most importantly George. People like to pretend that they were unaffected, especially saying that Dream had nothing of George's, but that isn't true. In that possession vault, Dream had Beckerson and a place for Mars.

You guys don't seem to understand how devastating this is for Sapnap. Those fish were a symbol of not only the earliest days of the smp, but also symbols of Dream Team's friendship. Beckerson was Dream and George's fish. Beckerson was George's fish. And if there's one thing Sapnap cares about protecting it's George. It's the reason Sapnap doesn't tell George about the things Dream does, and why he seemingly doesn't tell George that the prison allows visitors after Dream specifically requests to see her. Sapnap cares about George above anything and everything on that server. And he was fooled to believe that Dream, his best friend Dream, would've used their fish to try and control her. That's a problem. That's a problem that needs to be detained.

And yes Sapnap believes things aren't going well in the prison for Dream. He thinks he's getting worse, but the only proof of that he's seen is that he wouldn't talk. Dream going mute is in no means worse than Dream getting out and hurting everyone and everything Sapnap cares about. Dream is Sapnap's friend but he does not hold that friendship above everything else he has. Especially since, in Sapnap's eyes, that friendship has been onesided for a long long time.

And this doesn't even mention that after all this, Sapnap still hears Dream out after his escape. He could've easily killed Dream in Snowchester, but instead he lets him talk. He stalls. He tries to agitate Dream so that he makes the first move. Because Sapnap doesn't have the heart to actually lay him down. And while Sapnap immediately tries to kill Dream with the deathbook, Dream dying somewhere random where Sapnap doesn't have to see is much much easier than killing him himself. Something he feels obligated to do just for aiding Dream in getting as bad as he was. After he learns he can't kill Dream he starts daydreaming about how much of a power duo they'd be as a team. Because deep down he still sees them as a team.

And they would be if they communicated better. They would be if Dream saw them as equals. They would be if Dream hadn't put those damn fish in his vault. The burden of fixing what remains of their friendship is on Dream because at the end of the day, Sapnap's only fault was reacting to the things Dream did.

So when I see Dream apologists calling Sapnap stubborn, or stupid, or a bad friend, or a sociopath. I consider that a horrid take, because all Sapnap has done ever is care for his friends. And I won't see Sapnap made out to be the bad guy in Dreamnap's relationship because no matter how you bend it, he isn't. And the fact that a good few of you villainize him and George when it comes to Dream team's relationship ending shows that you ignore the povs of other characters just as much as Tommy apologists ignore the pov of Dream. If you want to blame everyone involved, then do that, but make sure the weight is on Dream. And that's just how I feel about this subject.

Sorry about the rant anon but I do not play about c!Dteams relationship and this has been boiling in my brain for a while. amen.

[swiftsdelucaa]

Could I please have an imagine where the reader and Meredith Grey have been best friends since childhood. The thing is that they both have had feelings for each other for years but never said anything. When they both start at Seattle Grace Meredith goes out with Derek and the reader starts something with another intern (doesn’t matter who). Both begin to realize that they are jealous and that they want to be together. (Possible conversations between Derek and the other person talking about how obvious it is) (like they give up their relationships for the other to be happy) fluffy and angsty please?

❛ 𝑼𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒘 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Meredith Grey x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I've chosen Jackson, I haven't written much for him yet! So this will be also a minor Jackson Avery x reader, anyway I hope you'll like the rest! <3

In every situation a choice must be made. And most of the time the choice you make should satisfy your need. You can choose whether to wait and keep hoping or go ahead in search of something new. This was your choice. Despite your strong feelings for Meredith, you've decided to let it go so you can change things.

There was this guy, pretty cute, who was in the same internship class as you and he seemed to be hitting on you a lot. When you saw Meredith again you thought it was a sign of destiny and that you might finally come forward, but she didn't seem to show any interest and she even started dating someone else. An attending. Derek Shepherd. Chief of Neurosurgery. At first it hurt you, but then you thought about doing the same and agreeing to go out with Jackson.

It wasn't bad at all, in fact he really made you feel good. He was so nice and kind to you, you almost thought you could fall in love with him and turn this into a serious relationship. But it still bothered you a lot seeing Meredith with someone else and you hated yourself for it.

Sometimes she was in the corridors with Derek, blowing a few kisses while they talked, not caring about the people passing by, but just looking like she wanted to show off, so you did the same with Jackson when you saw her, letting his lips wrap yours as they met passionately. The only result was a few glances between you, nothing more. But neither of them wanted to stop. You also tended to highlight your plans for the evening or the day, which confused the hell out of Jackson and Derek, but despite having a huge effect on both of you.

Derek and Jackson seemed to notice, it was starting to get so weird. As much as Jackson might have displeased him he'd noticed you were somehow jealous of Derek, he'd understood you cared especially for Meredith, but of course you'd never tell him, so the only thing he could do was continue to put up with it all and go after you.

One morning you rushed in together, had coffee together and left before him since you had a surgery scheduled and didn't want to be late. He decided to take it slower.

"Avery" Derek's voice caught his attention, making him stop sipping his coffee in peace.

"Doctor Shepherd" he politely greeted him.

"Okay..." he looked embarrassed. "I'll get right to the point" he stated bringing a rather curious expression to Jackson's face. Was that what he was thinking about?

"I think you've noticed it too, cause it's obvious..." he started.

"Meredith and Y/n?" he asked to have the certainty. He did an expression to confirm.

"I know this isn't professional, but we need to clarify it" Jackson nodded.

"Meredith told me about Y/n, they knew each other since childhood" Jackson raised his eyes.

"Oh... I did n't know..." in his head he had always limited himself to putting the pieces together, but you had never spoken to him about Meredith. And he had never bothered to ask for information.

"And it seems like both will never face it" The two shared the same suspicions.

"That's difficult" Jackson continued.

There was a moment of silence between the two, then when perhaps the situation was finally about to change, Derek was called.

Jackson just strayed there, thinking about it. He had a huge crush on you but apparently he understood this wasn't what you wanted.

Before he could be late too, he entered, with all the thoughts still whirling through his head. In fact they were able to ruin his whole day, and as soon as he had a chance to talk to you, he took you to a call-room to clarify.

Thinking you understood what he wanted to do, you welcomed him with an intense kiss. And although he liked it, he interrupted the situation; he was going to have a serious conversation.

"You okay?" you asked him having noticed something weird.

"Is this what do you want, Y/n?" he asked looking deeply at your eyes. You were confused.

"Jackson, what-"

"You don't want me, I know. You don't want us" his expression as he pronounced those words almost broke you. But deep down you knew what he was referring to and you couldn't say anything against it. He nodded at your silence.

"It's her, Meredith" he continued.

"Jackson, I'm so sorry, I... you're very good..." you tried to get out of it.

"I know, it's okay" he put a hand on your cheek. "I won't be the one who will prevent you to be happy" he gave you a smile, that you knew were forced, and without adding anything else, he left the room.

He did this for you. You almost wanted to cry, even you didn't know the reason. You loved Meredith Grey, and this was ruining your life.

That same evening you went to Joe's bar, hoping it would helped you throw this day in the trash. You sat down and asked the usual drink, tequila.

"Tequila for me too, please" you turned to Meredith when you heard her voice next to you. You weren't in the best mood to face her, so you just ignored it all and continued drinking.

"Shitty day?" she asked you.

"Yeah" she seemed to want to talk. "You?" you asked.

"Derek doesn't talk to me" she said placing the shot glass back on the table. "Because of you" she continued. “And… I think he's right” she admitted. You looked at her, feeling a little pissed.

"Really Meredith?" you crossed your arms after you finished drinking. “Well, you could say that first, you know? You made me feel like a crap about this situation” She raised her eyes.

"Did I do this to you Y/n? You didn't do anything either!" she said irritated and making you feel a little guilty. But it was both's fault. None of you said anything, even the feeling was strong.

You looked into her eyes, before forgetting everything and approaching to kiss her. It was all you needed, knowing that you both felt the same way and that you would do anything to have each other's presence close.

You pull apart for a second to look at each other, can't helping but smiling and kept doing it as you stumble into another kiss.

[kairiscorner]

Quick little idea that you totally don’t have to do but it would be super cute if you could (no pressure ily work 🫶🏼) could you have Hobie with a partner (whatever gender(s) you want) who gets overwhelmed by loud noises, too much noise, fast and abrupt changes in anything, and bright lights, because of her spidy senses? I thought it would be cute seeing as hobie made his own watch and stuff that maybe he could make some special noise canceling headphones that block out the effects of her spidy senses (like the enhanced hearing/seeing part) I don’t know, you can take this however you want! Love your stuff and don’t forget to drink water and take breaks for yourself ❤️

-lots of love, 🥀 anon

HELLO 🥀 anon :DD THANK YOUUUU also ofc, i can do that >:) i hope ya like this, and thanks again <:DD

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too &lt;:D)

with great power came great responsibility, and great burdens that you couldn't exactly bear all that well. you were a more advanced type of spider person, in a sense, you were more advantageous for your capabilities due to your heightened spidey sense–but the payoff was that you could never turn off these heightened senses of yours. that meant that you saw, heard, and felt everything in the most minute details possible. and the worst part was they remained on even when danger wasn't even around–you were stuck like this, and you hated it.

you found yourself snapping or losing some self-restraint when you'd get overwhelmed by startling sensations, by sudden changes and abrupt movements. you hated getting mad about these because you knew they were unavoidable, just as unavoidable as your heightened senses being a part of your powers. the worst part was that it caused a lot of people to walk on eggshells around you, and you believed many of them outright want to refuse working with you because of it.

you were incredibly uncomfortable and wished you could do something about it, but all the noise-cancelling headphones and specialized sunglasses you used were all useless in practical fights. until, one hobie brown delivered an even better solution for your problems. "here," he said as he handed you pretty crude but intriguing accessories to you with a smirk. you raised an eyebrow as you took them from his hands. "what are they?" you asked him as he smirked wider. "ya put 'em on." he said with a shrug, his smirk unwavering.

you hesitated for a minute, you realized they resembled sunglasses and headphones–and you realized soon enough what he meant to give you and for what purpose. you wordlessly obeyed his instructions and put them on, soon... everything was dead quiet, everything was less intense. everything was peaceful as soon as you donned the accessories on. you couldn't believe it, the chaos stopped for one moment, and that moment was when you wore hobie's makeshift accessories.

hobie chuckled. "they work really well, don't they?" he asked as you soon took them off, and you nodded profusely, not realizing you were smiling the whole time when you finally found peace and quiet. hobie grinned as he held his hand up to give you a high five. "i've seen how much struggling you've been going through when you, y'know... get overwhelmed and all. not your fault, 'course not–it sucks you have to be punished for already trying to save the multiverse. so, i... did a little bit of tinkering, et voila. seems like i did a great job, no?" he said with a chuckle as your eyes welled a little with tears as you realized you'd finally find relief for all your troubles.

"thank you, hobie." you thanked him with a cracked voice as you gave him a high five, and soon, he placed his hand on your head and pat it a little. " 'course, if ya need anything else, i'm always right where you need me to be." he said with a grin as he soon headed off, with you watching him go, in total glee at his generous gift for you. maybe now you could join him on his more chaotic missions and get to know him a whole lot better... and he'd love that, truly.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @luvstarrstruck @fictarian @k4tsu3 @pixqlsin @maxoloqy @solecitoszn @ii01vq @toneystank-3000